Salam All! I pray that you are all in the best of health. I do apologize for the delay. I’ve been real busy and caught up with coursework and revision that I’ve hadn’t been able to find the time. Its 12:18am and i am struggling to keep myself awake but I’d thought I’ll make a start on this article. For those who may be interested, i have posted my application form alongside my story and articles to the Muslim Writers Award. I wish every single participant all the best.
Before i go any further with this article, I’d first like to clear up an issue regarding my previous article. I was approached by a good friend of mine Saima, who informed me of her disapproval for my article ‘If i were a boy’. She felt that i had made out that men are more ‘superior’ to women and that islamically, both genders are equal. I totally agree with her but i think i failed to make it clear that i was looking at the cultural side of things. I think that this may have caused quite a bit of controversy and so, I’d thought I’ll take the opportunity to mention that here. It was actually my fault. I should have looked at both the cultural and religious side of things but, inshallah in a future article.
I promised you a final article before i am to go on a break and so, here it is. Public Affection. Well where do i start? There is no doubt that we have all seen it but have you ever thought ‘urgh, get a room!’ For instance, there was a time where me and a group of friends were standing in queue for Storm Force 10, Drayton Manor and we were just chatting away minding my own business. That was until the teenage couple in front of us decided that they were going to put on a public display of affection. (That’s me being polite. I can think of many other ways to describe it)
I suppose that i may be to a certain extent, being hypocritical in saying that Newlywed Muslim couples are just so adorable! Be honest now! Come on! They are just so.... cute! Your probably thinking ‘o.k... Now she really has lost it’ but deep down i am a big softie. There was this one time when me and my aunties and family were walking through the park and there was this Muslim couple cuddling under a tree, and, as stupid as it may sound, i just stopped and stared. I know, I know – I’m cringing too! One of my aunties took one look and went off one about how it is ‘besharam’ and that they shouldn’t be allowed to ‘do that’ But why? Why can’t they? It’s not like as if they are doing anything wrong. They are rightfully married so they have every right. So, the question that i would like to ask is, why do many of us see Muslim couples putting on a display affection as being so..... Awkward?
Well, i went onto the internet to do a bit of research and i was actually surprised to find that many individuals thought and strongly felt that it shouldn’t be allowed. Such comments included ‘I HATE when people do that in public, I just wanna throw something at them’and one comment that made me laugh was ‘why, are they homeless?’ However, there was one comment that made me smile and I personally believe that this sister should be applauded. Her comment was: ‘Coming from a Muslim woman.. You can enjoy a quick kiss. But we prefer to leave the kisses at home. If we were out say at a mall, we will hold hands or he might put his arm around my shoulders. If we are at someone's house, we save the PDA, because they invited us over for a coffee, not a peep show lol!
I totally agree with the sister. A line has to be drawn somewhere but that doesn’t mean that it should be banned altogether. Let’s look at the cultural side of things. I think that many of you would agree with me in saying that public affection is seen as a BIG no no! But, I still don’t get it. There was this one time where me and my whole family generation were invited to a wedding. (Pulls a face) It was an extravagant wedding and everywhere you looked, people were either estimating the costs of the wedding hall, or were either discussing the newlywed couple. Your probably thinking ‘well obviously’ but they weren’t talking about them in a positive way, oh no – They were talking about how they were acting. You normally expect the Bride and Groom to act shy, but the happiness could clearly be seen. And the best part was that, they didn’t care! They didn’t care about the fact that hundreds of people were gasping in horror as they held hands. They weren’t bothered about the fact that hundreds of people were glaring at them every time one of them laughed. Is it a crime to laugh now? As Baba Ali says ‘They are not dying – They are getting married’ so, why are they expected to act as if they are at a funeral?
I struggled to find the Islamic perspective on Public Affection. BUT! I found a brilliant example. Basically, this man emailed a Sheikh, asking him as to what he should do as he was caught kissing his wife in public and he felt real embarrassed because he felt as if he had committed an act of Zina. This was the Sheikhs response: ‘Rather it is kissing her in front of other people, because there is no Zina with one's wife, rather Zina is done with a woman whom it is not permissible for a man to touch. But in the case of a wife, it is permissible to touch her’ (Islamic QA)
So let’s wrap this up. I understand as to why many people feel that affection should be kept within the home and at times, it can be disturbing but, I don’t see anything wrong with i.e. holding hands. If you have got a problem with it, then don’t look. Simple. I have reached the end of my article and i would be lying if i were to tell you that i ain’t saddened at the thought of taking a break from writing but, it has to be done. I like to thank every single one of you. An article is nothing without its readers so Jazakallah Khair. For those who have provided me with suggestions, i will bear them in mind for future articles inshallah.
And now on a serious note. I have no doubt that many of us are to be facing exams in less than a few weeks. I’m saying this to myself before i am saying it to anyone else. Don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget your creator and don’t forget your Ibdah. We are nothing without Allah swt and we have so much to be thankful for. I wish you all the best for your exams and you are all remembered in my duas. I’d quickly like to give a massive shout out to Sonia, your comment brought a smile to my face and i thank you. As always, stay safe, remember me in your duas and keep smiling. Until next time, Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.
0 comments:
Post a Comment