Salam. I pray that you are in the best of health. First of all, allow me to apologize for the major delay in this article. I have been meaning to write another article but finding the time has been more difficult that i expected it to be and what with balancing out writing my book as well as writing for my mosque, it has been quite intense. Nevertheless, i have Alhumdilillah gotten round to writing this article and I’m near the end of completing Chapter 4 of ‘It’s just a fairy tale’
I received quite a few comments about my last article ‘The Muslim Romeo and Juliet’. Many of you found the video clip to be quite misleading and some of you misinterpreted the meaning of the video. Nevertheless, i feel that the message that was been put across was evidently clear and not in any way insulting. If you have missed any of my previous articles or would like to re-read them, then they can be found at my blog: http://www.a-muslimahs-blog.blogspot.com/
I would like to thank you all for your support and patience. None of this would have been possible without the readers so once again, thank you!
Now, back to the article. My last few articles have covered the topic of ‘Marriage’ and after reading over a few of them, i realised that i have always discussed marriage from a positive POV which is only one part of the picture. The commitment of marriage does come with its ups and downs which is why in this article, i am going to be focusing on the problems occurred in marriage.
Newly Weds – Aren’t they so adorable? But have you ever wondered how long it is before the ‘I love you’ turns to the ‘i hate you’?
Let me give you an example of a ‘love’ turning into ‘hate’ scenario. A newlywed couple have been married for a few weeks now and everything is going well. By the looks of things, neither of them can do wrong but all that changes when they have their very FIRST argument *gasp*
The woman/wife is doing the shouting, name calling etc and the man/husband is doing the whole ‘Why are you overreacting for? What is your problem’ speech. A few weeks later when they are back to enjoying married life, the wife decides to bring up that same argument and begins to recall all the hurtful things that her husband had said and he is just standing there with a confused.com look on his face because to him, the choice is not clear. He is trying to remember what he had said which angers the wife even more because she expects him to remember the hurtful things that he had said to her but he’s a man so what do you expect?
You see, as much as we hate to admit it, the woman is usually the sentimental and sensitive one within the relationship and this is because we have Alhumdilillah (unlike most guys out there) got a softer and more meaningful side to us and so, the littlest things said within an argument will never be forgotten. Unfortunately for the guy, all the hurtful things that he had said 5 years ago will be torment him for the rest of his life because what men fail to remember is that the girl will never forget.
The way a girl communicates with her ‘girlfriends’ is totally different to the way a guy communicates with his ‘bedrins’ A guy can have an argument with one of his friends but within a matter of minutes, all will be forgotten. However, when a girl has an argument with one of her friends, their friendship whole friendship is affected.
That is why communication plays such an important role within a marriage. The guy should be able to respect his wife’s feminine side and try and understand that she is... ‘not one of the guys’ as Baba Ali puts it. And the wife should try and understand that her and husband are not glued to the hip and that there will be times where he would want to spend some time with his mates doing ‘guy’ stuff.
So many relationships end up in divorce due to both spouses not being able to respect one another’s personal space. Everyone makes mistakes and no-one is perfect. This point is directly aimed at women of today – Instead of arguing with your partner about what he hasn’t done, try and instead acknowledge all his positive points.
It’s time for me to wrap up this article and once again, i apologize for the delay. A few of you emailed me asking me whether the book that i am currently writing ‘It’s just a Fairy Tale’ is going to be published. In answer to this question, Inshallah yes. However, it first needs to be written which is taking quite a while but nevertheless, it is coming along nicely. Despite it taking so long, i am Alhumdilillah pleased with what i have written so far and I’d rather write at my pace than rush the whole book.
Until next time stay safe, remember me in your duas and... keep smiling!!
Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.
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