The need to escape reality - By Alima Ali

Salam All. I pray that you are all in the best of health. I would like to thank all those who emailed me with the meaning of ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’ which means ‘Tomorrow may never come’ Some of you may be wondering why i asked such a question and all shall be revealed in this article. Two or three of you also emailed me with a response to another one of my questions which was ‘Can you fall for someone you don’t know’ and i received mixed answers. Some of you misunderstood the question and some of your opinions shocked me but all the same, i thank you.

Now, moving on to today’s article. All of us at some point in our lives feel the need to escape reality and just ‘live’ what i like to call ‘Another Life’ where we create the beginning, middle and end as well as the little bits in between and where we decide upon the outcomes of our actions. I am describing what is known as ‘a fairy tale’

Have you ever day dreamed about something for so long that when you ‘click’ back into reality, you actually for a moment feel as if your ‘day dream’ has come true but then as minutes pass, you soon realise that your life is exactly the same as it was not so long ago.

When this happens, can you not help but feel disheartened and almost disappointed? I know that everything happens for a reason but at times, i would do almost anything to switch reality for fantasy. I suppose this is because with fantasy, you know what to expect – There are no surprises and you are more or less at ease with life. However you never know what to expect with reality and you are constantly faced with a number of challenges which i suppose increase your capability and thus, make you a better person which is what we should all strive towards. But i suppose we all need a break from time to time – Some more than others and that is ok!

The funny thing is that many of us don’t even realise when we have ‘drifted’ off to what most is commonly known as ‘cloud 9’ and surprisingly enough, it usually happens to us during a long and ‘boring’ lesson. Losing concentration for that period of time allows us to experience anything but reality and i don’t know about you, but for me that is so.. Exhilarating and relaxing.

I would like to share a thought will you all. I had half a day at sixth form today as i had a free in the afternoon and Alhumdilillah, since my sixth form is quite close to where i live, i was able to be picked up by my mum which is quite the opposite to how things used to be for me when i was at Al-Furqan but that is a whole different story. Anywho, i saw this bunch of girls – There were quite a few of them and Mashallah they looked stunning there is no denying it and they were clearing receiving quite a bit of attention.

Now for those who don’t know this, i don’t really make a big effort when i go to sixth form. I know that its summer and everything but the weather is so unpredictable so i just usually stick with a pair of jeans and a long top and sometimes a jumper and usually some converse pumps but obviously with the sunshine, i make do with flats. Woah! I really do go off a tangent.

So you can imagine how intimidated i felt by these girls which is quite surprising for me as that is not me – I hardly ever feel intimidated by others and i actually shocked myself. A group of guys were walking pass and i couldn’t help but notice them slow down as they had a good look and basically ‘oogled’ at the girls and before i knew it, out popped the lipgloss and the small compact mirrors.

Now, what really shocked me (even though it shouldn’t have because unfortunately society has turned even those who call themselves ‘Muslim’ towards haram) was that all of the girls was Asian, but one of them was wearing a headscarf and oh my days it was so obvious that she was flirting – She was even doing that fluttering of the eyelashes thing and i was sure that i saw a pout.

Anywho, i realised that i had just wasted at least 2 minutes of life watching something that had absolutely nothing to do with me but it got me wondering. I’m warning you in advance – I am going to go off on a complete tangent (like i always do) and i do apologize and i just pray that you find at least some parts of what i have got to say interesting. If you’re a person who gets bored very easily, then i suggest that you stop here. If not, you may continue.

Right. That ‘little episode’ that i had just witnessed got me thinking. What many of us fail to remember is that we can be one of the prettiest girls in the world and have such an amazing hourglass figure, but do we ever stop to thank our creator for giving us such beauty in the first place?

Speaking as a Muslimah who attends a sixth form that is partially mixed, seeing Muslim girls associating themselves with the opposite gender through the use of i.e. hugs was quite a shock to me. I suppose that the main reason behind this was that after attending an all girls school for five years, i had been ‘shunned’ away for my own benefit from such haram and so after having to witness it so openly, i didn’t to be honest with you realise how religion has lost its identity.

We don’t fear God anymore and most of the time, we pray the five daily prayers for show or when we are told to and even then, we are muttering rude comments under our breath. I mean, what a way to present yourself in front of your creator. Personally, i believe that we have become spoilt. Due to the increase in technology, we are constantly surrounded by a variety of gadgets and have become so caught up in the world of ‘techno’ that we fail to remember even the basics of our religion. And hey, I’m not perfect and I’m illustrating myself first before anyone else and i can honestly tell you, I have just as many faults with my character but that’s the thing. What am i going to do about it? What are we going to do about it?

This leads me onto sharing with you why i asked for the meaning of Kal Ho Naa Ho. Believe it or not i actually sat down and watched it (with subtitles of course) and many of you are aware of the fact that i can’t stand Asian films. Nevertheless, i cannot deny that this particular film brought tears to my eyes and i remember someone telling me the meaning of ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’ but all i could remember that it had such a touching meaning.

None of us know what our future holds for us and Allah Hu Alim, we could die in the next hour (God Forbid) That is why i am trying to say that life is too short to say ‘Oh I’ll do that tomorrow’ and i of all people know how easy it is to forget about the possibility that tomorrow may never come. That is why we should live every day as it were our last.

I would like to share with you one of my favourite quotations. ‘Life without Love is like a year without summer’ Beautiful. So touching and just so true. Well in my opinion that is. That reminded me of a comment that one of my close friends which was ‘I don’t believe in love marriages’ To be honest with you, that was quite a blow and i was taken back but nevertheless, i see where she is coming from and i shall be inshallah writing a future article (in depth) about love marriages.

A good friend of mine gave me a present sometime last year and i can honestly say hand on heart that it is probably the best present i have ever received. The present was a book called ‘Don’t be Sad’ and the book is exactly about that.

I would like to leave you with a quote from the book and until next time stay safe, remember me in your duas and may Allah swt give us what is best for us and keep away what is bad for us. Ameen.

P.S – Keep on smiling! Its charity!

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

“Don’t be sad, because the one who is sad is like a person who pours water into a bucket that has a hole in it. He is like a writer who uses his finger to write on water. Do not be sad, because the true span of life is measured by the number of days in which you are content. Do not then spend your days in grief, do not waste your nights in sorrow, and do not be extravagant in aquandering your time, for truly, Allah loves not those who are extravagant and wasteful. Do not be sad, for in truth, your Lord forgives sins and accepts repentance”

(Don’t be sad – P.98)

P.P.S - Hadikah, the lollipops were yum!

x

Of labour, stop watches and a whole load of randomness - By Alima Ali

Salam All!!! I pray that you are well. I would first like to apologize for the delay in articles. I know that it has been quite some time since my last article and it is all because of my ‘stupid’ laptop. The charger connecter wasn’t working and my laptop was dead so i had to wait for a few days before I got my dad to fix it. And before you ask no, i have not finished the fourth chapter of my novel. Just as i was about to begin writing it, my battery died and that was that. Nevertheless, all is well Alhumdilillah and i can now continue with writing.

In my previous article i informed you all of the appearance of my articles on a Muslim network called ‘Muxlim’. I contacted them asking them about my articles and i received an instant reply from them. Apparently, my articles had appeared on a website that listed articles and subjects covered by Muslims across the world and my ‘My Perfect’ article was rated as being article of the week and that is how Muxlim discovered my articles which brings me onto my next piece of news. Muxlim asked me whether they could feature my articles on their website and I agreed!!!!

As well as this Na’ima Roberts who is a Muslim writer is renowned for her book ‘From my sisters lips’ is holding a blog conference in London where she discusses blogs on the internet and i emailed her asking whether she could feature my blog at the conference and she goes that she will be in touch with details. Mashallah!!!! I never in the world expected to go from writing one article to having my articles featured on websites and at conferences!!! None of this would have been possible without Allah swt as well as your support. I read every single comment and suggestion and i would like to thank you all!!!

Many of you ask where i get the ideas from for my articles and to be honest with you, I don’t know. I have got this real bad habit of observing someone and secretly staring at them, trying to figure out how their character is like and i sometimes get inspiration from this weird and crazy technique to write an article. Things that i see around me and comments that i ‘overhear’ also contribute to ideas and also, friends at sixth form and other close friends as well as suggestions also stir up an idea for an article.

This article is going to be revolved around certain issues and ‘stories’ that were shared amongst me and a few of my friends at sixth form. One or two of them made me ‘LOL’ and at times i found myself sitting there saying ‘That is a disgrace to the human race’ (Love it!) As well as this, i shall also be briefly discussing other issues including Muslim Speed Dating and Online Dating.

I don’t even know how we came onto discuss this topic but one lunchtime, a few of us began to discuss labour – labour as in birth and not labour the political party. We were ‘arguing’ as to whether the dad should be present at the time of the birth of his child and personally, i believe hell yes! I mean, it does take two to tango and it does take two to create a baby strictly speaking that is so of course he should be there and be feeling the pain that his wife is feeling. Honestly, some men can be such wimps. But credit has to be given to those men who pluck up the courage and give their wife their hand to hold in support and tell their wife to squeeze their hand when in pain..... Poor guy.

I was browsing on the internet and apparently, one of the most asked questions asked by a woman’s husband when in labour is ‘Are you alright’? Whichever guy asks his wife that question seriously has some issues that need to be sorted asap. It’s not as if she is screaming for the sake of it and it’s not like as if the puddle of water beneath her appeared from mid-air! She is in labour and she is delivering your baby so instead of asking her some ridiculous question or using the ‘I’m going to get a coffee’ as a quick escape route, stand there, and be supportive and share her birth pains and share the gas if you have to! And stop being such a wimp! And if he ain’t there for the birth of his baby, then he shall be expecting to receive the divorce papers through the post shortly.

In my last two or three articles, i have strongly expressed my thoughts on the ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ issue but this short story that i am just about to share with tops it all. I have this friend who for certain reasons would like to remain as anonymous and she has a bother who is a year younger than me. Anywho, he used to have what can only be described as being an ‘undercover’ girlfriend who he once brought a present for but that is a whole different story. Well, whenever he broke up with girlfriend, he used to put on the stop watch on his mobile to see how long till he...Wait for it.... till he gets his next girlfriend. Now that is most defiantly a disgrace to the human race! What a player! And i can’t believe that girls actually fall for that which brings me onto my next point.

As i have said earlier on in this article, it does take two to tango so i suppose that guys aren’t to be totally be blamed. I mean, if a girl is literally throwing herself at him by wearing tight clothing and throwing him seductive looks, then it is only a matter of time before he gives in to the temptation. Nevertheless, i do believe that we are currently living in a western society where such haram is improved of and so the one question that i would like to ask you all is who is to blame?

Moving on. Can i ask you all another question? Have you ever felt that you have ‘fallen’ for a total stranger – Someone that you have never met before in person but you have heard so much about them and you end up feeling that you know them all so well? I know this is a total random question but it would be great to receive an answer from you.

I found out today that another one of my teachers reads my articles. When she told me i was just standing there thinking to myself ‘O.M.G.O.S.H’ I felt so embarrassed its unbelievable. Seeing that i am on the topic of total randomness, can i ask you all another question. I know i know, I’m asking a load of questions but what can i say i am in a curious mood. What does ‘Kal Ho Naa Ho’ mean?

I am now going to jump onto Muslim speed dating and online dating. I never knew that Muslim speed dating existed until most recently when i noticed an announcement on the back of my local mosques prayer timetable basically saying that they are to be providing a speed dating session for Muslims the ‘Halal’ way and to be honest with you, my first reaction was ‘Hahahahahaha’. I then realised that they were obviously being serious and that got me thinking about how the more traditional methods of seeking a marriage partner have in a way been discarded. Many Muslims go for the alternative option of seeking their own marriage partner which has both its advantages and disadvantages.

This reminded me of a brief discussion that i once had with a few of my friends at sixth form where we were discussing ‘Muslim Online Dating’ sites and i distinctively remember one of my friends saying how only desperate people use such sites and only those who are ‘ugly’ register. I totally disagree with that and i personally believe that no one can be in such a position to say such a negative comment. Yes, online dating can be misleading but hey, not everyone can find their future marriage partner through traditional methods. At the end of the day, we are in no position to judge and we are most defiantly in no position to comment on who is ‘good looking’ and who is ‘ugly’ Allah swt has given each one of us beauty in some sort of form and its what’s on the inside that matters rather than what is on the outside.

Earlier on, i was browsing through some of the comments that were left on one my articles on Muxlim (Mr Perfect, does he exist?’ and there was this one comment that really made me LOL.

“Mr Perfect....hmmm, i'd say Edward Cullen in Muslim and human version: p”

A comment that made me nod in agreement was the following:

“A Pious Poor Pious Man is a Better Marriage Suitor than a Rich Man Who is Not Pious”

And a comment that sparked up an idea for a future article:

“eerrrr.........MISS PERFECT. DOES SHE EXIT?”

All the above comments can be found at: http://blogs.muxlim.com/Buzz/mr-perfect-does-he-exist/

I have reached the end of this article and it is now time for me to wrap up! I think i asked about 3 or 4 questions and it would be amazing to hear your thoughts and opinions. Once again, Jazakallah Khair for reading and until next time, stay safe, remember me in your duas and... Keep smiling!

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Failure and Pressure: By Anonymous Writer (Guest Writer) - Introduction by Alima Ali :D

Salam All. I pray that you are well. This afternoon i received an email from ‘Anonymous Writer’ who asked whether she could submit an article and after proof reading over her article, i must say that i was impressed so credit goes out to her. If any of you would like to submit an article as a guest writer or would like to comment/ suggest future articles, just drop me an email.

Before i leave you with ‘Anonymous Writers’ article, I’d like to share with you some exciting news. Well, I was freaked out at first but Alhumdilillah i have now calmed down. I have been told that someone has been posting my articles on ‘Muxlim’ which is basically a networking site for Muslims and after checking this out for myself, I can honestly say that i am honoured and over the moon. Some of the comments posted really made me LOL and i shall inshallah be sharing these comments with you in future articles.

Anywho, i am now going to leave you with ‘Anonymous Writers’ article and until next time, stay safe and keep smiling.

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Salaam everyone. First, I’d like to thank Alima for giving me the chance to post an article on her blog. I think her last article definitely applies to her... she’s a great friend. This is the first article I’ve ever written so I’m going to write this anonymously. I hope you enjoy it...

As its exam time for most students, whether you’re in college or in school, I thought I’d talk about the pressure of exams and the fear of failure. This is something I’ve experienced more than once and I’m sure I’m not alone. For most people the fear of failing exams is due to fear of what their parents are going to say. Or sometimes its because of fear of what their friends are going to think of them if they fail. If you add this to the pressure of making deadlines together with revising for several exams at one time, you’ve definitely got a recipe for disaster.

I know both of these fears applied to me. But I realised that when I leave school and college my grades are going to benefit me and my career Insha’Allah and I might not even be in touch with most of the people I’ve studied with. Plus, i have great friends so that helped. So, I overcame that fear and the pressure of impressing friends slowly went away.

Then there were my parents. Now, I’m really fortunate I have very supportive parents. Note the word supportive. Supportive as in... ‘You got an 5 As? Masha’Allah! See, when you work hard it pays off. We’re so proud of you’. Then there are proud parents.... ‘ You got 5 A*? Masha’Allah....*looks at paper* when are they going to deliver the star on that one?’ ‘Um, no mom just an A on that one...but look I got an A* here’ ‘Masha’Allah! See when you work hard it pays off. Were so proud of you....So about that star...’. Uff, gimme strength.

I definitely feel for those girls who work their asses off to get amazing grades but someone somewhere in your family will find something negative say. Wow, that’s a lot of you saying Amen. To those girls who have it hard from their families (be it close relatives or cousins), you should be content with what you have. Because when you’re cooped up in your room revising every minute of the day for 3 months straight, you should feel that what you’ve revised and how you’ve revised will get you the grades you want.

However, I haven’t spoken about my biggest enemy yet. Me. I tend to psych myself out before exams into thinking that I haven’t learnt this topic or revised that formula. It’s ridiculously pressuring and not good when your sitting the exam in 5 minutes. I, also, know a few of my friends who let the pressure of family get to them. So, you’ve got your exam results, but forget your mum dad, your petrified of the comments you’re going to get from cousins who also sat exams. ‘Hey mum dad I’m back.’ ‘ Hey, come in here’ ‘Wow, I didn’t know we were having a party’ ‘Oh, its nothing...a few of your cousins wanted to know what you got....3 Bs,2 As. That is really good, well done!’ ‘Yeah that is...anyway. I got 5 A*s. Why do you think you didn’t do that well.’ *You stare in astonishment* ‘I DID do that well (doofus)’ ‘Hahahahaha...your funny. Seriously though, did you find the exam hard because I thought it was myyna’ *You think* ‘DIE!’

Most of the time it is Satan trying to break your self esteem because if you don’t feel good about yourself then your easily led astray. You start wearing makeup trying to make yourself feel good by getting the wrong kind of attention. But seriously is your moronic cousin who thinks ‘Myyna’ is a word going to get anywhere with a face like his. Sorry, off topic. What I mean is, your grades and character will reflect the career and future you carve for yourself. But with 5 A*s and a personality to match George Bush, your cousin could very well be cleaning streets for all he knows....So he should watch out, I know people ;).

Anyway, that concludes my first article. Thank you all for reading, feedback is welcome...you can leave comments on Alima’s blog and/or just email Alima and she’ll forward them to me. Thank you to Alima once again for letting me post :D you were my inspiration to start writing. Salaam!

The gift of Friendship - By Alima Ali

Salam. I pray that you are all in the best of health. The topic for this article was requested by a close friend of mine and after hearing what she had to say, it really opened up my eyes to just how we take friendship for granted. However, before i go ahead to discuss the topic of friendship, I’d like to apologise to Brother Danish who emailed me the following response to me article ‘Women in Islam: The Blessing of being a Muslimah’:

“I think you were a bit sexist in your previous article where you said you wouldn't want to insult the animals by comparing them to men lol I mean how could you generalize all of the men...everyone's not the same or are they?”

First of all, when i was writing that particular article, my attention was to be bias and sexist. I know that sounds kind of strange so allow me to explain. I know that It was wrong of me to generalize and i am aware of the fact that not all men are the same. Unfortunately, it just so happens to be the minority and not the majority and i suppose i just wanted to put across to other Muslimah’s that No; men don’t have the right to rule over us. No; they don’t have the right to use and abuse us and No; they most certainly can’t pick and choose ‘whatever girl they want’ I’m sorry but it doesn’t work that way and i just felt it was about time someone spoke up. Nevertheless, it does take two to tango and that is why i shall Inshallah be writing an article about the so called ‘innocence’ of girls.

Secondly, i do apologize for the delay in this article. Things have been quite hectic and i have been trying my upmost to fit everything in: Writing articles for you and for my local mosque, working on my book, designing etc. Nevertheless, i have along the way picked up a few suggestions for future articles as well as some amazing comments so Jazakallah Khair! Credit must be given to Hajirah and Saima for the hilarious suggestions and i look forward to sharing them with you.

Thirdly, i would like to share some news with you all. My friend Saima is a unique friend and an inspiration for all. I hope that she doesn’t mind me saying this but she is living proof of how faith in Allah swt can change one’s life. She fought for her right to wear the headscarf and Jilbab and coming from what can only be described as a modernised family background, credit must be given. Just yesterday she told me of some great news. Her sister had begun wearing the headscarf for the first time and for all you Hijabi’s you know just how difficult and intimidating it can be. Nevertheless, she showed the strength, courage and faithswt in Allah and she is now a proud Hijabi! Congrats to her!

Now, back to this article. Friendship. We all take it for granted but do we ever sit and think about how lucky we are to have such great friends?

Ever since a young age, many of us realized the importance of friendship and some of us even had an imaginary friend. I don’t remember this it but i have been told by family that i used to seek comfort in... wait for it.... the fridge. Apparently, i used to go and sit in the fridge and crack eggs on my head and talk to the fridge as it were my best friend. Embarrassing or what?! Some of us may have sought comfort in our stuffed toys that we snuggled up to at night and our dreams and secrets.

Friends. They are always there for you in your time of need. When you’re having a rough day, you are able to ring them up knowing that they’ll put a smile on your face. And when things are just not going your way, they always have a shoulder for you to lean on. No matter how busy they may be, they are always there for you.

But my question is, do we return the same friendship? Are we always there for them? Do we lend them our shoulder? I think that it is about time we think long and hard about whether we are able to call ourselves a true friend.

What many of us fail to remember is that friendship is a gift. It ain’t a present that can be brought from a shop and then wrapped up in a bow and it more precious than any diamond, pearls or riches. Every friend is unique and special in their own way but i think that at times, we find ourselves caught up in our own materialistic world that we fail to notice when we are being anything but a true friend.

If a friend has invited you over for the day, you don’t ring half an hour before you agreed to meet up and come up with some ridiculous excuse about how you can’t come. Or if someone has invited you to a gathering, you don’t come with some pathetic excuse about not coming because someone who you don’t get on with is going to be there. I mean, that is just a disgrace in the human race. If you want to act immature and childish, then go ahead but don’t go and ruin it for others.

I tell you what i hate most. When you politely tell your friend off for doing something wrong and before you know it, you haven’t heard from her in days and whenever you try and ring her, it always goes to answer phone. I mean, what is up with that? For flipping sake, be grateful that a friend is helping you out and at the end of the day, if you choose to ignore her and act all snobbish, then it’s your loss.

It doesn’t really help living in a westernised society where wrong is portrayed as being right and where you are surrounded by so called ‘friends’ who insist on having a good time... the haram way. For this reason, it is essential for one to befriend only the righteous and vitreous and this can at times be a difficult task to deal with.

A true friend is one who ‘Wishes for his Brother what he wishes for himself’ or in our case ‘Sister’. I ask of Allah swt on behalf of all of us to associate us with the good and pious. Ameen. I have reached the end of this article and it is now time for me to wrap this one up. I shall now leave you with a blessed verse from the Qur’an:

“Friends on that Day will be enemies one to another, except al-Muttaqoon (i.e. those who have Taqwah).” Qur’an 43:67

Until next time, stay safe and keep smiling! Remember me in your duas and if you would like to catch up with any of my previous articles, just visit: www.a-muslimahs-blog.blogspot.com
Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

What is love? - By Alima Ali

Salam All!!!!! This is an article that i wrote a few days ago and once complete, i was unsure as to whether i should publish it. Nevertheless, here it is and i hope that you enjoy reading it.

I want you to get up and go and stand in front of the mirror and look at your reflection. Now tell me, what do you see? I can tell you what you see. You see a face glowing with pride. You see two eyes twinkling away. You see a small twitch in your smile and, you see beauty that reflects your personality, your individuality and your deen.

Do you at times ever feel as if you are invisible? I’ll give you a common example. Your about to go out for a meal with family and you decide that you want to look your best. You get up extra early so that you can finish your revision a few hours early, giving you that extra time to get ready. You have your best clothes laid out on the bed and you’re ready to prep your face. You go for a bolder shade of eye shadow and add an extra coat of eye liner. Your confidence has increased and you’re ready to go.

The night has come to an end and you head straight for your room. You grab your face cleansing wipes and pocket sized mirror and throw yourself on your bed and You begin to remove the make-up from your face, all the while trying to avoid that pit-stomach feeling. Not one person complimented you on your eye make-up. Not one person had told you that they liked the way that you had layered up your hijab and no-one failed to notice that new dress that you had brought just the other day..... No one had told you those three words that you so desperately wanted to hear but, you don’t need to hear it from anyone else because i am going to tell you myself. You are beautiful. Yes, you are. You look beautiful when you wake up in the morning with your hair looking like Amy Winehouse. You look beautiful when you walk around the house in your PJs, all the while complaining that your older sister has eaten the last piece of toast. You look beautiful when you have spent the whole night trying to complete that essay that is due the next day and, you look beautiful when you are having a panic attack about the teenage spots that have just erupted all over your face.

You may feel that all of the things mentioned above cover up your outer beauty but what you must never forget is that your inner beauty can never be covered up. It is merely hidden away for that special someone and if he really loves you, then he wouldn’t care about those dark eye bags or that pimple in the middle of your forehead. You know why? Because he’ll know that no matter what happens, your inner beauty will always be there and to him, that is all that should matter.

This brings me onto my next point; what is love? I looked up the word in a dictionary and this is what it said: ‘A strong positive emotion of regard and affection’ Love is when you close your eyes and your still able to see that special one staring straight at you. Love is when you feel as if you can stand on the moon and announce to the world that you are in love. Love is when nothing else seems to matter. Love is when you can’t help but secretly smile to yourself as you think about special someone. Love is when you find yourself humming his name. Love is a word that is so commonly used. Love is a word that has lost its true meaning.

As i open my eyes, i find myself being greeted by the harsh reality of life. I can’t help but question as to whether love really exists, or whether love is just merely a figure of my/our imagination. But then i think back to Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and his relationship with his wives. That is what you call love. Love isn’t lying to your parents and then sneaking out of the house to go and meet your ‘boyfriend’. Love isn’t posting M rated images of you and your ‘boyfriend’ on facebook, all the whole hoping that a friend would comment on how cute the two of you look. Love isn’t having sexual contact with a guy outside marriage. This is not love. That is desperation.

Why do we so easily forget who we are? Why do we so easily forget our creator? Why do we so easily forget the importance of prayer? Why do we so easily forget the fact that we are Muslim and only suddenly remember when an outsider mocks our religion? This is a disgrace to the human race.
We all dream of meeting the almost perfect spouse but going through a trial and error process with a number of guys before hand is not the way. Islam has banned dating for a reason. Islam has banned sexual contact with the opposite gender for a reason and there is defiantly a reason as to why women are ‘asked’ to cover up! So damn sake! For those girls who go onto cloud 9 every time their boyfriend comments on how beautiful they look, wake up and get a grip of your life! They are only after one thing and one thing only and you and me both know that it is not your personality!

I have this friend and i have known her for a very long time. I’m not sure as to whether she’ll appreciate me sharing this but oh well. Every morning when she wakes up and every night before she goes to sleep, she prays. She prays that one day, she would meet that guy that she has for so long been dreaming about. She looks at other girls and she can’t help but feel sad. In her eyes, those girls seem so perfect. They have the looks they have the personality, they receive the attention. When she looks at herself, she sees a girl that likes to shadow herself away in the dark. She sees a girl that likes to burrow her head in her dreams because at least there, she can dream about being loved. She can dream about being shyly smiling to herself every time she hears him whispering in her ear and, she can dream about being happy, knowing that she has fulfilled half her deen.

The one thing that i really hate is when girls call their boyfriends ‘my man’ or ‘my hubby’. I mean what the heck? It’s bad enough having a boyfriend, let alone referring to him as being your....... ‘man’?! Are you married to him? No!

Another word that i hate is ‘Fit’. I can’t stand the word. It has no meaning what so ever. Every five seconds, ‘omg he is so fit’ or ‘Did you see his fitness’? Pardon me for being old fashioned but what is wrong with saying Good looking or handsome? For my afcc girlies, don’t forget what U.Samina taught us. Ahem. ‘Zina of ze eyes. Zina of ze hands!’

Seeing that i am near enough on the discussion of marriage... The point that I’d like to make is that no girl should let their husband walk all over them. Yes i know that a woman should respect her husband and all but i don’t know about you, but cleaning, ironing and cooking 24/7 is not respect. I tell you what respect are. Getting a frying pan and hitting him over the head with it because if he expects you to be a chef, raise 5 kids and look good all day, then I’m sorry to say but the action of the frying pan is most defiantly needed.

Nowadays, men are so bone idle its unbelievable. Be honest now. Amrana, does your husband ever help you with the house hold chores? And I’m talking on a regular basis – not once in a blue moon. If he does, then give him a pat on the back. If he doesn’t, then i suggest you give that frying pan idea a go but shhhhh, you didn’t hear it from me.

I got to say that this article has by far been one of my longest yet. My fingers are aching from all the typing but i pray that this article brings a smile to your face. I pray that all your duas are accepted and stay safe. Until next time, Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Women in Islam: The Blessing of being a Muslimah - By Alima Ali

Salam! I pray that you are well. Last night, i picked up a small booklet titled ‘The Position of Women in Islam’ and out of curiosity, i decided to read it. It was only about 16 pages long but Subhanallah the detail and information that it contained inspired me to write an article on the same issue. Speaking as a feminist, i believe that woman rule! In the last 50 years or so, women have outshined themselves and earned their place in society. In this article, I shall be discussing the importance of being a Muslimah from an Islamic point of view as well from a cultural point of view.

I’d first like to make it clear to those who may think otherwise that in the sight of Allah (swt), a woman is completely equal to a man. It says in the Qur’an:

“...So their Lord accepted their prayers, (saying): I will not suffer to be lost the work of any of you whether male or female. You proceed one from another...” (3:195)

A woman’s responsibilities are no different from mans. Performing the five daily prayers, fasting in Ramadan, and giving Zakat are religiously obligated upon both genders but a woman has, to a certain extent, more advantages and privileges over man. She is able to perform her daily prayers in a place of worship or she is given the option of praying from the comfort of her own home. This clearly reflects the mercy of Allah swt as it shows his consideration for the woman who may be nursing her child or may be caught in some other difficulty that may prevent her from attending the mosque. A woman is excused from performing her daily prayers and fasting during her menstruation period and she is also excused from praying and fasting for up to forty days due to child birth.

However, the social and cultural aspect differs from the Islamic perspective. In Asian culture, a mother sees her son as being her pride and glory and most of the time, the daughter seems to take second place. Every child is seen as being sacred but Allah swt especially asks daughters to be treated with dignity, respect and honour. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

“Whoever has a daughter and he does not bury her alive, does not insult her, and does not favour his son over her, God will enter him paradise” (Ibn Hanbul No 1957)

Many of you know that marriage completes half our deen and that marriage is a blessing in itself. However, speaking from a cultural point of view, many elders see males as being more superior as and of more importance than to women. The woman is the one that is meant to stay at home and clean the house, do the cooking as well as the laundry whereas the man is the one goes out to work. I’m sorry to say but that is just sexist. However, from an Islamic point of view, women are given the same working rights as men, just as long her role as a mother or wife isn’t neglected. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

“Seeking knowledge is compulsory for every Muslim” (Al-Bayhaqi)

I don’t know why, but many Asians see women as being a push over and that is just a ‘disgrace to the human race’. I mean, why shouldn’t women be given the same opportunities as men? We may not be as physically as strong as them but we are unique in our own way and men are just, excuse me for saying this, but ‘stuck up pigs!’. They come home expecting their hot meal to be all laid out on the table and they then throw off their shoes and stink up the whole house with their big fat Shrek like feet! And do you hear them asking you about your day? No! Because they are too busy going on about how many miles they drove and then complaining about how taxes have gone up. I mean, does it look as if we care?!

What men fail to remember is that the woman is the one who has to carry their child for 9 months and then have to grow the labour process whilst they are standing there asking you if you are ok! I mean, does she look ok???!!!!!! The woman is the one who makes sure that their three course meal is ready for them when you return from work and the woman is the one who has to wash their stinky socks!

I was in town the other day in Primark with a few of my aunties and i overheard a guy saying ‘You know, i can get any girl i want’ Thank God i was making my way towards the lift because if i wasn’t, i would have gone over to him and gave him a piece of my mind and said to him ‘Excuse me Brother but can i just correct you on what you have just said. In actual fact, a woman has the right to choose her marriage partner and luckily for your future wife, she would also have the right to divorce!’ Astaghurullah!

I have reached the end of this article and i have just found out from a friend of mine that her step dad read certain parts of my last article and by the sounds of it, enjoyed it so Alhumdilillah! To conclude i would just like to say that women are just... incredible. I don’t know about you, but i am proud to call myself a Muslimah and next time, if you ever hear someone discriminating women, then you know what you got to do. Until next time, stay safe and remember me in your duas.

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Homophobism and Lesbianism: The Overview - By Alima Ali

Salam! I pray that you are all in the best of health. Before i explain the meaning behind the title of this article, I’d first like to inform you all of my new blog. A few of you emailed me asking whether i have a blog where i post my articles. I didn’t at the time but i quickly one that now contains all my articles. I shall continue to email them to you but if you would like to read over any previous articles, they can be found at: http://a-muslimahs-blog.blogspot.com/
I would also like to give a quick shout out to Zahra. I always seem to forget but Alhumdilillah i remembered this time round. I decided to place the shout out at the beginning as knowing me, i would have forgotten by the time i had finished writing this article. :D

A few months ago, one of the most controversial story lines appeared on our television screens. The kiss shared between the two characters Syed and Christian in EastEnders was described as being a "traditional love affair, albeit with a modern multicultural twist". Having wanted to write this article for some time, i hopped onto the internet in order to conduct a bit of research and to my upmost horror, i came across a website called Al-Fatiha which is a ‘An international organisation for Gay Muslims’ and it run by Brother Adnan Ali who refers to himself as being ‘A Muslim who is Gay’. He says that the website

‘is dedicated to Muslims of all cultural and ethnic backgrounds who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex, queer, and questioning or exploring their sexual orientation and/or gender identity (LGBTIQQ), and their families, friends and allies’ (http://www.al-fatiha.org/index.htm)

Now, can any of you spot the key words in the quotation illustrated above? Well let me point it out to you – ‘Gay’ and ‘Muslim’ – ‘You cannot be Gay and call yourself a Muslim’ (Quote by Hajirah). This is reinforced by the following hadith which discusses liwat (sexual intercourse between males):

"When a man mounts another man, the throne of God shakes." (http://www.missionislam.com/knowledge/homosexuality.htm)

So my question is, where did Brother Adnan get the idea about Homosexuality being allowed in Islam? His website is currently under construction and I am unable to contact him. However, as soon contact details have been updated, I shall be putting the above question to him via email and I Inshallah shall keep you all posted.

It was about eight years ago when the song ‘All the things you said’ was released by the pop duo ‘T.A.T.U’ who were famously known for their homosexual behavior. I must have been about nine years old when I first saw their performance on ‘Top of the Pops’. Having learnt of their homosexual status some years later, I had formed a rather blunt opinion: That Gay people were Freaks.

I am now much older and ‘mature’ than I was back then (Feel free to disagree: D) and I can honestly say that I now feel ashamed and almost embarrassed for thinking what I did. I had formed a rather negative opinion of two people who I had never met before. We are unfortunately living in an opinionated society where one is judged through the representation of gender, appearance and behavior.

I think what many of us fail to fail to remember is that no-one is perfect. We all have our faults and that coming from different ethnic backgrounds or coming from a rich/poor family doesn’t make one better that another and the same goes for sexual orientation. In front of Allah (swt) we are equal and it doesn’t matter what is on the outside, it is what is on the inside that really counts. Like they say, ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ so in this case ‘Don’t judge a person by their cover’ I am not in any way encouraging homosexuality nor am I approving of it.

I have had this discussion of homosexuality with a few friends of mine from sixth form and I found myself fighting, single handedly may I add what could only be described as being a lost battle. One of my friends said in so many words that homosexuals are not in a mental state. Isn’t that a form of prejudgment?

From an Islamic point of view, ‘Homosexuality is seen by scholars to be a sinful and perverted deviation’. Any forms of homosexual acts are considered to be unlawful and this view is shared by all Islamic schools of thought. I can understand why homosexuality is forbidden in Islam and I can also understand the means of punishment used as belief in homosexuality goes against the whole concept of Adam and Hawa (Adam and Eve) which also explains why it is forbidden in Christianity.

However, what we must understand that not everyone shares the same beliefs. To us the reasons and punishments behind homosexuality may be obvious but to others it may not. We are in no position to judge and we are certainly in no position to differentiate the ‘good’ from the bad’

I knew that it was going to be difficult to discuss such a controversial and sensitive issue without being bias from a Muslims point of view. I did have doubts about writing this article but alhumdilllah it has now been written and I must say I am relieved. May Allah swt guide us all on the right path and put Imaan into our hearts as without our religion and without the remembrance of our creator, we are nothing. Until next time, Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Forced, Arranged and Modern Marriages - By Alima Ali

Salam All!!!!! Exams are finally over Alhumdilillah and the summer holidays have officially begun. Before i begin this article, I’d firstly like to update you with a piece of news that i am very excited about. About a year and a half ago, i began to write a story called ‘A New Beginning’. I then took a break from it due to A levels. However, after receiving some advice and feedback from a few online writers, I have decided to take my writing to a whole new level and turn my story into a Novel. I have also changed the name of the novel to ‘It’s just a Fairy Tale’ and it is basically a romantic comedy about a Muslim Student called Aisha and it’s from her point of view on fighting the traditional methods of seeking a marriage partner for the more modern methods. She is beginning her first year at university and she has always dreamt of her’ Once upon a time beginning’ and ‘Happy ever after ending’ However, things take a dramatic turn and soon, she is left wondering whether true love even exists? The design of the book is currently in progress and as soon as i receive the design, you’ll all be the first to know.

With exams over, i am now able to concentrate a lot more on my articles. So, what should you be expecting from future articles? Well, I shall Inshallah be discussing Homophobism and Lesbianism, Islamic speed dating and Marriage from a whole new perspective. I have received several suggestions for future articles and so, I shall also be covering these topics. I have also been writing monthly articles for my local mosque which are being published in their monthly newsletter. So far it has Alhumdilillah been going very well. I have also noticed that a few of you forward my articles to people on your contact lists. Subhanallah! I feel so honoured that you feel that other people will benefit from my articles. All praise is to Allah swt.

About a month ago, i received the following email from Br.Mohammad Danish who contacted me. This is what he had to say:

“I read your article on 'chillyoislamyo' about The Inner Beauty or out? And I must say you are doing a GREAT job. I have a friend she lives’ in the UK and I believe she might learn a few things from your article's. So do you have any particular blog where you post them regularly? If not then could you please send me your articles on my email address. I just finished reading all of your articles and I love the fact that how you’ve written them in such a way that they are informative, religious, entertaining and funny all at the same time”

His email really brought a smile to my face and its comments like the one illustrated above that makes writing so great!

Now, moving on! I want to discuss Forced, Arranged and Traditional marriages. You’re probably asking why? That question i cannot answer but I’d figured that it would be a.... interesting topic?

We are currently living in a modern society where at times, our actions are influenced by others. Arranged marriages aren’t as common but we seem to insist upon finding our own marriage partner. However, when you look at the bigger picture, can we really? I mean are we really old enough and responsible enough to make such a big decision that could possibly change the whole of our future? I used to think yes, but only recently has my opinion slightly changed.

I’d like to share with you a story that i have just heard recently and to be honest with you, it really did shock me. Nevertheless, there may be an element of untruthfulness in them due to word of mouth. You know how it is. Imagine it as being Chinese whisper. The truth always becomes distorted one way or another. There was this girl – Approximately the same age as you and me and she used to go to this lady’s house for tuition as her husband was a tutor of some sort. Anywho, she ended up receiving a bit more than tuition and the end result? He married her and left his first wife, with whom he had two children with. He now has ownership over everything. Their house was in his name and they had a joint bank account in which he too took all the money. This caused a major drift within the family resulting in this lady’s own mother, going against her! Just try and imagine just how difficult it must have been for her. And this was all because of one girl making a harsh and drastic decision about marrying a guy who she had only known for a few weeks/months.

Some of you might ask ‘Well aren’t you being a bit hypocritical, seeing that the novel that you are currently writing is based upon a Muslim girl seeking her own marriage partner as opposed to allowing her parents to arrange her marriage?’ Well for those who are thinking that and i am sure that there are quite a few of you, i see your point. However, that is not to say that i am totally ruling out the modern methods of seeking a marriage partner. I am merely questioning whether we are responsible enough to manage such a task?

On the other hand, i am not saying that every girl who may be having a conversation with the opposite gender will be left quietly singing to themselves ‘He could be the one’ I am sure that not every girl is as naive to believe that. If you meet the ‘Almost perfect spouse’ then good on you girl. Guys are almost like jewels. Most of them are just fake and cheap but the real jewels are rare to find. I know i know, a stupid comparison. I was actually thinking of comparing them to animals but then i didn’t really want to offend the animals.

I’d now like to move onto forced marriages. I believe that it is evidently clear in the verse illustrated below that forced marriages are forbidden in Islam.

"O ye who believe! Ye are forbidden to inherit women against their will. Nor should ye treat them with harshness, that ye may take away part of the dower [money given by the husband to the wife for the marriage contract] ye have given them, except where they have been guilty of open lewdness; on the contrary live with them on a footing of kindness and equity. If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and God brings about through it a great deal of good. (4:19)" (http://www.answering-christianity.com/cant_force_marriage.htm)

However, do correct me if i am wrong, but there are the odd one or two stories in the news about a young girl from some foreign country who is forced to marry a man who is of a ridiculous age. Whether this is true or whether it is just an attempt by the media to negatively portray Muslims only God knows, but what i do know is that Religion doesn’t seem to play a greater role in society as much as it used too. I mean, many of us don’t live in fear of God but we live in fear of the ‘wise’ old lady who lives at the bottom of the road who mistakes Bid’ah for religion. Many of us fail to pray the 5 daily prayers, but when it comes to a Khatam (gathering), you find most people sitting there reciting at 100mph, without a care in the world as to what they are reading. May Allah swt forgive me for generalising and i have no doubt that there are Muslims out there who are genuine. It’s a shame though that what once used to be a majority has now revolved into being a minority.

Finally, the traditional method: Arranged marriages. Some would say that this is probably the safest methods and i do, to a certain extent agree. Let us look at the Pros and Cons of arranged marriages. Well, i think that the main advantage to an arranged marriage is that your parents would have some way or another met the guy and so, depending on their judgement, they would be able to decide upon whether he is good enough for you. Like they say, ‘You can’t live with them but then again, you can’t live without them’ and ‘Parents know best’. I hate to admit it but it’s true. Also, by going through an arranged marriage, you are avoiding any possibility of mixing with haram. What i mean is that you’re not given the opportunity of going through a ‘Trial and Error’ process before hand– In other words, dating.

As well as this, arranged marriages ensure than the two people are compatible with one another. I.e. – Ensure that they share the same religious views. I mean, the last thing you want to do is find the almost perfect spouse and then to your upmost horror, discover that he is an Atheist or a Christian or a Hindu (No disrespect to any of these religions) I don’t know about you, but i don’t think that my parents would really approve... What many people fail to remember is that the woman has the right to refuse a selected partner. It’s called Freedom of Choice. :D
However, it can be argued that we are living in a modern society where many opt for the decision of choosing their own spouse. I am sure that many of us have heard of the saying ‘Decide with your head and not your heart’ I suppose that with an arranged marriage, the two partners are convinced into believing that love will ‘grow’ within the marriage. Whether this is true, i cannot say.

I think that it is safe to say that growing up in an Asian family brings along a rather ‘large’ extended family and i know that they mean well, but at times, their ‘closeness’ can be a little awkward and uncomfortable. The last thing that you want is for the whole family generation, well actually make that the whole neighbourhood know about your marriage prospects. You know how it is.
‘Guess What I heard?’
‘What?’
‘Well you can’t tell anyone because it is meant to be a secret but Aisha’s grandma told her friend Dolti who told her dauqghter Alisha who told her husband Umar who told his neighbour Sabeen who told her sister Naseem who told me that Aisha is engaged!!!!’
‘No way?!’
‘Yeah Way!’

And before you know it, your parents and you’re in laws and the Auntie who you never knew you were related to have already begun planning the wedding and you and your fiancé are caught in between the wedding plans.

I think that it is safe to say that with every method of marriage (I know. I’m making it sound as if there are 1001 different methods) comes its fair share of problems – That can’t be helped and i can’t really differentiate the importance of one method from another. However, what i can do is tell you that if it is meant to be, then it is meant to be. Only Allah swt knows best and if he feels that it is the right decision for you, then he will inshallah guide you and bless your marriage as well as make it easy for you and your family.

And... that’s a wrap! If you have any further comments, suggestions or merely fancy a chat, then drop me an email. Until next time, stay safe, enjoy the summer holidays, remember me in your duas and... keep smiling! Its charity!
Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Thoughts of the Day: Marriage – Informing the parents O_o - By Alima Ali

This article is based on no particular subject. It is merely based on a few thoughts that were running through my head whilst I was revising and I felt the need to type it so, here I go. Ok. I’m feeling kind of apprehensive because I have never really shared my personal thoughts with such a large number of people. I must be feeling brave. I’m sure that what I’m going to be discussing in this article is going to make you stop and think ‘Yeah, that’s me. That girl reminds me of myself’ I actually hope that it does because I don’t want to write it all out and then not have anyone being able to relate to it.

I’m 17 years old now and I can’t deny that I have reached that age where marriage is constantly playing on my mind. For many of us, our parents had married at a young age and it was usually an arranged marriage to their cousins. Things have modernised since our parent’s generation – No one hardly ever marries within the family and instead, they prefer to find their own suitable marriage partner and settle with a love marriage. But, who knows best? Our parents or us?
I suppose that the possibility of not making the right choice regarding marriage is a daunting prospect. No one wants to face the harsh reality of possibly facing a divorce and being blamed for the breakdown of the marriage. So, what do you do? Is there anything that you can do? I know that I’m not making any sense – I hardly ever do but the point that I’m trying to make is that.... Can we really be trusted to make the decision of choosing a marriage partner or should that responsibility be left to our parents? Do we know ourselves as well as we think? So many unanswered questions. I’m actually feeling scared because.... I’m going to have to one day make that same decision and only God knows as to whether it will be the right/wrong one.

Lets say you have met a possible marriage partner and he has got near enough most of the qualities that you wanted. How do you go about informing you parents? Maybe you could say something like: ‘Mum, Dad – I’ve met someone... can i marry him?’ Nope. I don’t think so. Can you imagine telling your parents? Ooof. You’ll end up playing a game of 1001 questions, where your parents are asking the questions, and your left to cringe as you talk about how you met him and all the details in between.

I personally think that compared the guy, the girl has it harder. I mean, she has to get pass through her mothers game of 1001 questions, convince her dad that he’s the right marriage partner and grant him permission to ‘indirectly threaten him’ if he lays a finger on you. Just when you think you can contemplate about the fact that your engaged, you have to go through a meet and greet session with the whole of your neighbourhood and sit there for hours, listening to them arranging your wedding. Like Baba Ali says ‘Their Wedding, Your money’. You then finally get the chance to ring and inform your closest friends of the great news and put up with non-stop teasing. Once all of that is over, you are finally able to pinch yourself, all the while praying that it is not a dream and that it is in fact reality.

Woah! See what a girl has to go through? So yeah. That was what was going through my mind alongside cash flow and utilisation. (Business Studies stuff :/) I’m feeling kind of shy now. Ok. Well maybe more than kind of. It’s so much easier to write it rather than speak about it. I’d probably die of embarrassment.

I know that this is a more of a shorter article than compared to my other articles but that can’t be helped. Until next time, stay safe, remember me in your duas and judging by the clock, its Isha time so... what you waiting for? Asalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu.

Public Affection: Is it acceptable? - By Alima Ali

Salam All! I pray that you are all in the best of health. I do apologize for the delay. I’ve been real busy and caught up with coursework and revision that I’ve hadn’t been able to find the time. Its 12:18am and i am struggling to keep myself awake but I’d thought I’ll make a start on this article. For those who may be interested, i have posted my application form alongside my story and articles to the Muslim Writers Award. I wish every single participant all the best.

Before i go any further with this article, I’d first like to clear up an issue regarding my previous article. I was approached by a good friend of mine Saima, who informed me of her disapproval for my article ‘If i were a boy’. She felt that i had made out that men are more ‘superior’ to women and that islamically, both genders are equal. I totally agree with her but i think i failed to make it clear that i was looking at the cultural side of things. I think that this may have caused quite a bit of controversy and so, I’d thought I’ll take the opportunity to mention that here. It was actually my fault. I should have looked at both the cultural and religious side of things but, inshallah in a future article.

I promised you a final article before i am to go on a break and so, here it is. Public Affection. Well where do i start? There is no doubt that we have all seen it but have you ever thought ‘urgh, get a room!’ For instance, there was a time where me and a group of friends were standing in queue for Storm Force 10, Drayton Manor and we were just chatting away minding my own business. That was until the teenage couple in front of us decided that they were going to put on a public display of affection. (That’s me being polite. I can think of many other ways to describe it)

I suppose that i may be to a certain extent, being hypocritical in saying that Newlywed Muslim couples are just so adorable! Be honest now! Come on! They are just so.... cute! Your probably thinking ‘o.k... Now she really has lost it’ but deep down i am a big softie. There was this one time when me and my aunties and family were walking through the park and there was this Muslim couple cuddling under a tree, and, as stupid as it may sound, i just stopped and stared. I know, I know – I’m cringing too! One of my aunties took one look and went off one about how it is ‘besharam’ and that they shouldn’t be allowed to ‘do that’ But why? Why can’t they? It’s not like as if they are doing anything wrong. They are rightfully married so they have every right. So, the question that i would like to ask is, why do many of us see Muslim couples putting on a display affection as being so..... Awkward?

Well, i went onto the internet to do a bit of research and i was actually surprised to find that many individuals thought and strongly felt that it shouldn’t be allowed. Such comments included ‘I HATE when people do that in public, I just wanna throw something at them’and one comment that made me laugh was ‘why, are they homeless?’ However, there was one comment that made me smile and I personally believe that this sister should be applauded. Her comment was: ‘Coming from a Muslim woman.. You can enjoy a quick kiss. But we prefer to leave the kisses at home. If we were out say at a mall, we will hold hands or he might put his arm around my shoulders. If we are at someone's house, we save the PDA, because they invited us over for a coffee, not a peep show lol!

I totally agree with the sister. A line has to be drawn somewhere but that doesn’t mean that it should be banned altogether. Let’s look at the cultural side of things. I think that many of you would agree with me in saying that public affection is seen as a BIG no no! But, I still don’t get it. There was this one time where me and my whole family generation were invited to a wedding. (Pulls a face) It was an extravagant wedding and everywhere you looked, people were either estimating the costs of the wedding hall, or were either discussing the newlywed couple. Your probably thinking ‘well obviously’ but they weren’t talking about them in a positive way, oh no – They were talking about how they were acting. You normally expect the Bride and Groom to act shy, but the happiness could clearly be seen. And the best part was that, they didn’t care! They didn’t care about the fact that hundreds of people were gasping in horror as they held hands. They weren’t bothered about the fact that hundreds of people were glaring at them every time one of them laughed. Is it a crime to laugh now? As Baba Ali says ‘They are not dying – They are getting married’ so, why are they expected to act as if they are at a funeral?

I struggled to find the Islamic perspective on Public Affection. BUT! I found a brilliant example. Basically, this man emailed a Sheikh, asking him as to what he should do as he was caught kissing his wife in public and he felt real embarrassed because he felt as if he had committed an act of Zina. This was the Sheikhs response: ‘Rather it is kissing her in front of other people, because there is no Zina with one's wife, rather Zina is done with a woman whom it is not permissible for a man to touch. But in the case of a wife, it is permissible to touch her’ (Islamic QA)

So let’s wrap this up. I understand as to why many people feel that affection should be kept within the home and at times, it can be disturbing but, I don’t see anything wrong with i.e. holding hands. If you have got a problem with it, then don’t look. Simple. I have reached the end of my article and i would be lying if i were to tell you that i ain’t saddened at the thought of taking a break from writing but, it has to be done. I like to thank every single one of you. An article is nothing without its readers so Jazakallah Khair. For those who have provided me with suggestions, i will bear them in mind for future articles inshallah.

And now on a serious note. I have no doubt that many of us are to be facing exams in less than a few weeks. I’m saying this to myself before i am saying it to anyone else. Don’t forget who you are. Don’t forget your creator and don’t forget your Ibdah. We are nothing without Allah swt and we have so much to be thankful for. I wish you all the best for your exams and you are all remembered in my duas. I’d quickly like to give a massive shout out to Sonia, your comment brought a smile to my face and i thank you. As always, stay safe, remember me in your duas and keep smiling. Until next time, Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

The article with no title - By Alima Ali

Salam Ya’ll!!!!! How we all doing? Pray that you’re all well. Before I go any further with this article, has anyone seen the trailer for ‘Dear John’? :O Doesn’t it look awesome? It also looks like one of those soppy films. You know what I mean right? Come on Amrana (Ustada) you of all people should know what I mean. (She once told me that she loves to spend her Saturday evenings sitting in front of the telly with her Galaxy chocolate and her box of Kleenex tissues, watching a good old romance) Don’t try and deny it now! I’ve still got the email to prove it ;). Whilst we’re on the topic of soppy films, I got to tell you about my good friend Marya. I’m going to do her besti now – mwhahahahaha! Once, I was invited to her house for Iftari and Titanic just so happened to be showing on BBC2. Next thing I know, she’s sitting on the edge of the sofa, reciting the lines of Kate Winslet. LOL!!! From what I remember, she has watched it 20+ times. Hey, I’m not one to talk. I had never seen titanic from beginning to end until a few months ago when I finally gave into Maryas pestering. I sat down in front of my laptop whilst doing video call with Marya and I began to watch it. 2 hours later, tears were rolling down my face, I had red puffy eyes and I was whimpering to myself, all the while, blanking Marya who was saying ‘Alima.., Alima are you ok’. I hate to admit it but... yes I cried! Anywho, swiftly moving on...
Before I go ahead and make an announcement, I’d first like to clear up a few things. Before any of you ask, no, I do not spend my entire time sitting in front of my laptop writing away. As much as I’d love to, Exams are just around the corner and so, I cannot afford to. Instead, about ½ an hr everyday is dedicated to MY writing which explains why it takes me so long to email you my articles. With exams only weeks away, i am not going to have much time to be writing so expect this to be my second to last article. I say second to last because i have got one last article to write before i go on a break.

Now for my announcement. After much thought, I have decided to enter the Muslim Writers Competition. There are several different categories including Journalism and this is the category of which i am thinking of submitting 3 of my articles for. Three is the maximum number. The main reason as to why I have been so apprehensive about entering is that you don’t have like age groups. The category is opened to all so, I’ll be competing against kids, teenagers, adults, Journalists, writers etc and it’s... scary. I have drilled it in to my head that there is no harm in trying and even if I don’t get to the final 30, at least I can look back and say that I tried. Inshallah. However, I have a slight problem. There are certain criteria that my article(s) must follow, and one of them is that my articles must have been published in i.e. A magazine, on a blog or website. And, they want evidence. But, Alhumdilillah, i have found a solution. I got in touch with Brother Saad and like me; he too is a keen writer. He writes a load of articles covering various different articles. I got in contact with him and he kindly agreed to publish my articles on his website. So this is a shout out for brother Saad! Jazakallah!! And check his articles out at: http://www.chillyoislamyo.com/

I am unsure as to which 3 articles i should submit for the Muslim Writers award. If you have any suggestions, feel free to let me know. I also forgot to mention in my previous article that if you know of anyone who may be interested in me designing their website, leaflet etc, then again, drop me an email or pass on my email to them.

Amrana, i heard from Emel magazine and they basically said that they don’t publish opinion-based articles and that they rather focus on certain topics. Fair Enough. I’m still yet to hear from Muslim Sisters Magazine.

For many of us, the holidays are going to be over in a matter of days, and it’s going to be back to the, as i like to call it, rat race. With exams just weeks away (i know i know, i keep on mentioning it – just go easy with the glaring), it’s crucial that we all knuckle down and push ourselves to the max. Whether you have got SATs, GCSEs, A levels, University or any other kind of exams, my duas are with you. Education only comes once – we won’t get this opportunity again so let’s pull together, work our backsides off and when the summer holidays come, we shall be able to rest, knowing that whatever the end result may be, we gave it our all.

Seeing that i am on the topic of exams, I’d just like to make a quick point. Have you ever come across someone when throughout the year, they don’t bother with the basic 5 prayers, but, as soon as the exam period arrives, out comes the prayer mat that has been locked away for so long that it is covered in dust, and the frantic praying begins. I’m sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. If you don’t remember Allah (swt), then how do you expect him to remember you? I am in no way trying to preach and i don’t mean any offence by any of my comments. I am in no position to judge anyone or to find faults in anyone’s characters. At the end of the day, no one is perfect.
To be honest with you, i didn’t really know what to base this article on. Alhumdilillah, i have (so far), received positive comments and feedback and judging by this, i have discovered that marriage seems to be the most popular topic. I wonder why.... For this reason, i have decided to base more of my articles on different aspects of marriage. Obviously, i won’t be able to comment as much as i am not married but, I’ll give it a go. I wasn’t going to tell you this, but what the heck, I’m going to tell you. As i have already mentioned, i am going to write one more article before taking a break for exams. Inshallah, I’ll be writing again come summer holidays. I was trying to think of what to base the last article on and seeing that you lot are so keen on discussing marriage, i came up with an issue. An issue that I’ll have a lot of fun discussing. The issue that i am going to base my last article on is...... *drum roll*......... Public Affection. You weren’t expecting that weren’t you? And.... I’m going to leave it as that.

By the looks of it, i should be wrapping up this article. This took me a total of 5 days to write but, Alhumdilillah, i have done it. Before i end this article, I’ll like to give a few shout outs. To JOEY! (She knows who she is). Jazakallah Khair for your lovely comments and to you too Sahila. That day when you were reading my articles them in Art class, i was cringing with embarrassment :/ To Amrana!!!! I hope that you continue to ‘chuckle’ away and Jazakallah Khair for your kind words. And finally, to Humaira (saved the best till last ;) Always full of encouragement and eagerness. This article was for you.

Until next time my fellow sisters, take care, stay safe, work that ass off and remember me in your duas. If you have any suggestions for future articles, feel free to drop me an email. Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.
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If I were a Boy - By Alima Ali

Before I go any further with this article, I’d first like to say a massive thank you to all of you. When I first began writing, my main aim was to just put pen to paper – Well in this case, letters to a Word Document. I never in the world expected so many of you to actually read my articles and relate to them, let alone respond to them with such kind words. It’s always so enlightening to hear your thoughts and opinions so once again, Thank You. May Allah swt bless you all and make things easy for you not only in this life, but also in the hereafter. Ameen.

I suppose that I have got a bit of explaining to do regarding the title of this article. It all began when I was sitting in front of my books minding my own business when my little cousin brother came into the room and asked me the one question that I was not expecting ‘Where do babies come from?’ Yup. You can my imagine my reaction. Blank Face. Sweaty hands. Blushed cheeks. My Response? ‘Well... erm... you see... why are you asking me that for?!’ I’ll be honest with you. I tried my best to keep my voice at its normal tone, but I don’t think I succeeded. Anywho, this made me think.... Can you imagine a guy giving birth? Oh gosh. I sat there having a 10 minute laughing attack and then felt like an idiot because I had a laughing fit over my own joke O_o

So yeah. That made me wonder.... ‘If I were a boy’ how different would things be? I’m going to speak on behalf of us girls so I’m going to refer to us being as ‘We’. Well first of all, we wouldn’t have to worry about PMS(ing) every month. Can you imagine that? We wouldn’t have to worry about stocking our cupboards with herbal tea remedies and rummaging through our rooms, looking for the soft water bottle cover that gives us that extra comfort. Oh who am I kidding. My mother believes that nothing gets rid of stomach cramps better than a few good hours of chores. Paracetamol? Hot water bottle? Pshhh!!! She’s never heard of them.

Moving on. The chance of you getting pregnant will be zilch and you can be 100% certain that 9 months of your life won’t be spent carrying a baby. Well, there are exemptions for some guys... Let’s not even go there.

As soon as your 16, you wouldn’t have to be worried about being wrapped up like a package, having a stamp stuck to your forehead and being shipped off to Pakistan to get married.
You would have so much more freedom that compared to i.e. – Your sister(s). Go out and come in when you want and not have to be worried about being interrogated about your whereabouts. There are so many more advantages of being a boy that I can think of. But, like they say, lets now look at what we have got rather what we haven’t got.

I don’t think that there is one positive thing to say about having to PMS every month so I think I’m going to skip that one. As for the Pregnancy, it is a blessing and not an illness. And think about that warm feeling that you would feel inside you, knowing that you have just brought a new being into the world. Not that any of you would have experienced that just yet.... I hope not :/

Being shipped off to Pakistan eh? Oh the joy! (Sarcasm). I suppose that this doesn’t happen as often but there are one or two cases where it does and it’s a shame. I mean, think about it. You have got the whole of your future to look forward to. You have just hit 16/18 and you’re preparing to tackle the next stage of your life. But, just as soon as your about to take that step, your stopped with one leg in mid air. Your dragged by your leg and swung round and round and round and then thud, you are greeted with a ‘warm’ ‘Welcome, You have reached your destination. If you look to your right, you shall see your future husband. And if you look to your left, you shall see your new living accommodations. In your bedroom, you shall find a piece of paper listing your future. By the age of 18, you are expected to have had your first child and be well on the way to expecting your second. If you have any problems, please contact your local service provider... your mother-in-law. I wish you and your beast ... I mean husband all the best’

As for the freedom? Well I personally believe that too much freedom spoils a child. They are better of being protected within the home. Bull ring. The Palisades. Sea Life Centre. Wow weeeeeeee!!!! Get over it! Gun crime. Drugs. Weapons. Not unless you want to be spending the rest of your life clutching one buttock, I suggest that you keep your ass indoors. Like they say ‘East West – Homes Best’. That’s not to say that you should go to the other extend of not having any freedom what’s so ever and sitting in your room in the corner, clutching on to a pillow in one hand and a lamp in other, constantly whispering to yourself ‘I can’t go out there. I’m going to get shot!’

I’m going to wrap up this article but before I do, I’d first like to quickly advertise my ‘service’ Well I wouldn’t really call it a service but more of a way of gaining experience. Basically, I inshallah want to pursue a career in Graphic Design and so, i need to gain a lot of experience before I go onto University. Your all probably staring at your screens shouting ‘Well you daft idiot, that what work experience is for’ but alongside that, i want to gain a bit more experience. That is why, I am willing to design websites, leaflets, posters and logos. I have just completed a website for a lady called Sadaf. You can check it out at: http://www.emo-tap.com/

I do charge and so here are my prices:

Website: £100 (Template and Domain Name must be purchased by individual)
Poster: £30 (Only the design – No printing)
Leaflet: £25 (Only the design – No printing)
Logo: £10 (Only the design – No printing)

Prices can be negotiated but the prices that I am offering are almost more than half the price that you would be charged if you were to go to a website/graphics firm.

I’d also like to make a few personal shoutouts. Firstly to Iqra who kindly feedbacedk to me regarding my last article Marriage. Thank you! To Meshaal who suggested for one to perform Istijarah before making the decision of choosing a marriage partner. Actually, for anything that you are not sure of so yeah! Thank you! That totally skipped my mind so thanks for the reminder. And finally to Jabeen. (I can call her that as I am no loner her student) for her kind words that are always full of inspiration and motivation.

Until next time, take care, stay safe and remember me in your duas. Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Mr Perfect. Does he exist? Plus, 10-1 Countdown: From a Muslim’s perspective - By Alima Ali

Some would say that I am too young to give my views on this topic let alone try and attempt to answer the question but, I’m going to give it a go anyways. For my articles, I get my main inspiration from ‘The Real World’ and give my views and opinions based on reality rather than fantasy. I have no doubt that when searching for a future spouse; we all have the same things in mind. *Out comes the long list of must haves.* One: He must be handsome. Two: He must be rich – Very rich. Three: He must have a good job. Four: He must be caring. Five….. *Voice trails on* Notice how I constantly mentioned the word ‘must’. As Baba Ali says ‘JOKE!!!’. We are not living in a ‘Once Upon A time’ and ‘Happy Ever After’ fairy tale. In Case you forgot, we are living in the real world – I mean, can you imagine a so called ‘Prince’ riding on horseback through the city centre, all the while searching high and low for his one true love? I think that it is about time I click my fingers and bring you back down to reality. We may not have castles and fairies but, there is a near enough Mr Perfect out there for every girl - It’s just a matter of finding him. Again, notice how I said ‘near enough’? That is because no one is perfect. Even the greatest man alive Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) found faults in his own character. Prepare yourself as i go through the ‘Top ten things a Muslim woman should look for in a possible marriage partner’

At Number 10 it is cleanliness. This is probably one of the last things on your list but I personally believe that it should be near enough at the top. Cleanliness plays an important role in Islam. I mean, you wouldn’t really want to have a sweaty, wearing last week’s clothes garlic breath man as a husband would you? Nope. I didn’t think so. If anything, he should be well groomed and take pride is his appearance and no, I don’t mean waking up at 6am and spending hours in the bathroom straightening his hair and then spiking it up, all the while contemplating about whether to leave the top three buttons on his shirt open.

Moving down to number 9 we have….. Attitude. No one likes an ‘I think I’m all it’ person which is why attitude should be a key factor when looking for a possible spouse. They should be humble and always be willing to give someone a helping hand. If you see a ‘I’m clever, your dumb, I’m rich, your poor, I’m big, your small’ look plastered on their face, then just go ahead and cross them right off the list because you can do without that.

Smile is at number 8. You’re probably thinking ‘what is she on about’ but as Muslims, we believe that smiling is a form of charity. The last thing you want to go and do is marry a replica of the Mona Lisa. While you’re at it, give his teeth a once over too.

Counting down to number six we have wealth. I personally believe that wealth is a bonus. I mean, look at Prophet Muhammad (pbuh). Was he wealthy? No. But mashallah his relationship with Khadijah and with his other wives is just unimaginable. They didn’t need money to bring happiness to their relationship so, why do we always see wealth as being one the most important factor(s)? So many families have been torn apart because of greed. Allah swt blesses us with so much but it’s never enough – We always want more and look where that gets us. Nowhere. That is not to say that we should cross wealth off our list all together. Having a spouse with a good source of income is preferable but not compulsory.

Finally! We have reached the half mark. Sitting at number five we have family background. We mustn’t forget that we’re not only marrying ‘him’, but in most traditional cases, we are marrying ‘his’ family as well. Most likely you’re going to be living with your in laws for at least a few years so you don’t really have a choice but to get on with them. A first impression can make a big difference so, if you have reached the stage when you have been invited to meet and greet your ‘possible in laws’, don’t forget your manners. It’s always easier to start off on the right foot. Even if it involves the clenching of fists and the gritting of teeth.

Number 4 – personality. I suppose this could be linked to attitude but I still think that it deserves a place of its own on the ‘top list’. I think we all know what makes a good personality. Some one that is easy going, can make you laugh, is understanding and also caring. The word is self explanatory. However, do bear in mind that in some cases, opposites do attract. O_o.

Only three more to go. I have chosen Religious being is sitting at number 2. Imagine this. You have found the almost perfect spouse that has got near enough all the qualities mentioned above. You’re drifting away on cloud 9……. And then suddenly fall back down to earth with a bang when you hear the words ‘By the way, I’m an Atheist’. (no offense to atheists) Try telling that to your parents. *cringe*. I have noticed that religion is the one important factor that we always seem to miss out – why??!!!. If he aint God fearing, then I’m sorry but in my eyes, he has got no chance.

This is the moment you have all been waiting for. I have thought long and hard about what factor deserves to be placed at the number one spot and I have come to a decision. Can I have a drum roll please *drum roll* ………………………………………………………… Acceptance. If he can accept you for who you are, then girl, you have found yourself a perfecto spouse *hi 5!*. We are all unique in our own way and that is what makes us different from one another. As Baba Ali says ‘If he doesn’t accept you for who you are, then drop him like a bad habit because he aint worth it’. You don’t need to change yourself for anyone. If a guy can’t see your inner beauty and your great personality, then tell him to sling his hook.

I had a whole load of fun writing this article and I hope that you had just as much fun reading it. If you have any questions or any suggestions for future articles, then just drop me an email. Until next time, keep smiling, stay safe and remember me in your duas. Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakatuhu.

Growing Up: Why are we so pressurised? - By Alima Ali

‘You just need to grow up!’ Don’t you just hate it when you are asked to grow up? I for one do! In less than a year, I’m going to be facing the daunting aspect of changing from a teenager to an adult. But not everyone is as worried as I am. They say that your teenage years are probably the best years of your life but answer this, would you label a thirteen year old as being a teenager? No, I didn’t think so but, what would you say if I said to you that this ‘innocent’ thirteen year old has been clubbing since the age of ten, wears clothes that can only be described as being ‘skimpy’ and has been dating guys that are¬ 8 or 9 years older than her. This isn’t a fantasy, this is reality. This isn’t the girl that lives down the road, this is your daughter. It’s so easy to point fingers at other people and gossip about their children’s poor upbringing but why don’t we look closer to home. It’s happening right beneath our noses but we don’t even know it. So, where are we going wrong?

Living in a Western society can at times be difficult to put up with. We are constantly being pressurised into looking, acting and even talking in a certain way. We end up losing our individuality and instead, strive to be like the fake celebrities that we see plastered on our magazine covers and bill boards. I hate to say it, but I have slowly noticed a similar trend in the Muslim community. Muslim girls dress to impress and only fear God when they feel the need to. The amount of freedom that girls are given is just ridiculous and as parents, do you ever question your daughter as to where she is going or who she is constantly texting day and night? Not all girls are attention seekers but unfortunately it is the majority and not the minority.
I am in no position to judge and I am certainly in no position to criticize. I am merely pointing out the obvious points that we so easily sweep under the rug in hope that it won’t be discovered. I am far from perfect and if anything, I strive to find faults in my own character rather than looking down upon others.

Peer Pressure. It’s like an addictive drug that once attached to an individual, is difficult to get rid of. It’s like a disease that can easily spread. Before you know it, you have been diagnosed with Peer Pressuritus and the sad thing is, there is no cure.

There are times when I feel sorry for certain people. Alhumdilillah, I was brought up with a religious background where the word of God was constantly and still till this very day been mentioned within the house hold. However, there are some individuals who unfortunately weren’t blessed with this and so, their knowledge of Islam had to a certain extent been restricted. Instead, they were negatively influenced by the media and strived to be like the fake models that they saw on their television screens.

Haram is everywhere – That can’t be helped. We can’t control out emotions but we can control our actions. We are constantly being manipulated not only by magazines or ‘so called role models’, but also by someone who I like to call ‘The evil of all evil’ also known as Satan. No matter where we hide, he’ll always find us and he’ll always be doing what he does best – Spreading evil. He’ll be whispering into our ears, into our minds and convincing us that what is haram/wrong is in actual fact halal/right.

Love. If I were to ask you to define love, what would you say? That it is a powerful emotion that makes up a relationship? Or maybe that it is a four letter word that brings a smile to a girls face? The word ‘Love’ has lost its true meaning and it’s all down to us youngsters – with the help of Satan of course. We commit haram, instantly believe that ‘he is the one’, date the person for a few months and feel that he is ‘part of your world’. Before you know it, you hear the devastating words ‘It’s over’ and let me guess, it feels as if ‘your whole world has crashed right before your eyes?’ Yup, thought so. It’s all so predictable.

I know that I sort of went on a tangent but the point that I’m trying to make is that enjoy your teenage years because this stage of your life only comes once and you don’t want to waste it. Instead, live it to the full and when I mean live it to the full, I mean the halal way. Trust me, there are plenty of ways of having fun whilst following a certain set of rules. Stick a smile on your face and say Alhumdilillah. Until next time, Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullah hi wa barakathu.

'The inner beauty or out - Which is preferred?

Salam. I pray that you are all in the best of health. We live in a society where we are constantly being judged by our appearance and actions. Words such as ‘slag’ and ‘desperado’ are now so commonly used but have you ever stopped to think, why is it that such vile words are being spread by the younger generation? There was a time where the colour of our skin determined our status in society but that was all set to change. An odd 20-30 years on, improvement has been made but to what extent?

If you were to go and stand in the middle of the bull ring, approximately how many university students do you think you will see? 50? 100 maybe. Due to the recession, the numbers of university applications have raised steadily making it even more difficult to get into our desired field. Would you say that it is the level of education that makes or breaks a person? Is it our skin colour or family background? Maybe it is our appearance or possibly our wealth? In honest truth, I believe that it is none of these. Think of an individual’s character as being a jigsaw. If a piece is missing, then their character is not complete. It’s missing an important piece. It is a piece that keeps the whole jigsaw together. A piece that when fitted in, can reveal a picture. That missing piece – beauty. You see, there is a difference between appearance and beauty. An individual can change their appearance in order to please others but beauty, beauty is within. The beauty of an individual cannot be seen but merely expressed. This is known as the inner beauty of a person. We all have it, but most of us don’t appreciate it. I suppose appearance can also be referred to as being the ‘outer beauty. So which is preferred? The inner beauty or out?

We have all been blessed with beauty both on the inside and out. But have we not been provided with garments to cover our outer beauty? ‘This beauty that I have is just a simple part of me. This body that I have no stranger has a right to see’ (The Veil, by Dawud Wharnsby) In the Qur’an it says ‘“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks close round them (when they go abroad). That will be better, so that they may be recognised and not annoyed. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Quran 33:59)

So why do we here in the West feel pressurised to look good, not for ourselves but for others? Why do we feel that hours should be spent perfecting our makeup and ensuring that our clothes are so tight that it looks as we have wrapped ourselves in plastic? None of us are perfect but we should strive to be some of the best Muslims around. Money doesn’t bring happiness nor does having the perfect body shape. We are all different and unique in our way and at times, we need to be reminded. The outer beauty is what draws attention to one’s self and portrays us in a negative way.

The inner beauty is what makes us the person that we are today. Our inner beauty cannot be taken away from us and if anything, it can grow in time. It may not be physically observable but its presence can be felt. It’s a shame that in society, we are not judged by our character but merely by our appearance.

So which is preferred? The inner beauty or out? The real beauty or the fake? I know what my answer is, but what is yours?