Who made me Judge Judy? – A reflective article By Alima Ali

Salaam All. I pray that you’re in the best of health. Wow! It really has been a while – so long that I actually had to check the publish date of my last article Which was on the 9th September 2011 to see exactly how long it has been – eight months to be exact. It’s safe to say that this article is most definitely over due.

 A lot has happened over the long period of eight months. I started and have now Alhamdulillah finished my first year at university. I passed my driving and now own a driving license although not much can be said about my license picture. Let’s just say that the picture was taken when I was having a pretty rough day….. I must have looked pretty bad as the driving examiner studied my picture for a good 5 minutes before saying ‘No way that’s you’. Charming! I became a year older and I’m now 19! Eeeeek!

Despite all these changes in my life, I have miserably failed on changing one thing in particular– my opinionated personality. A close friend of mine asked me for the link to my blog and as I copied and pasted the link to her, I found myself reading over some of my previous articles. It was only then did I realize just how…. ‘high and mighty’ I sounded and I actually felt quite embarrassed and ashamed of myself as despite my intentions having always been good, the style of my writing seemed to say otherwise.

 For that reason, the title of this article is aimed at myself – ‘Who made ME judge Judy?’ and what gives me the authority to label people? Now before you ask, no this is not a sympathy article where my aim is for you guys to sit back and think ‘oh poor girl!’ Nope! This is an eye opener article to show just how easily it is to not think before we speak and stereotype people.

 A few weeks ago I said possibly one of the most stupidest and judgmental things which was ‘I can’t stand guys who have ear piercings, spiked hair, low jeans and rough clothing. If I ever see them, I assume that they are trouble’ the worse thing is that I said this to a close friend of mine… who has his ears pierced and spikes. I really put my foot into it didn’t I? He put up a good front but later revealed that he was kind of hurt by what I had said and to be honest with you, who wouldn’t be? He is his own person and expresses himself through the way of dress – That doesn’t necessarily make him a bad person. Unfortunately, I failed to see this…

He actually gave me a scenario that really made me think. He told me to imagine myself walking through the city centre and suddenly have someone yell ‘terrorist!’ or approach me and ask me whether I had been forced by my parents to wear that ‘thing’. I’m not exactly the sort of person to respond to such remarks but that’s not to say that I wouldn’t feel hurt at being judged by someone who doesn’t even know me. The Golden rule is an ethical code that states ‘One should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself’ and if I want to be respected as an individual rather than be labeled, then I first have to be able to provide that same respect to other people.

I’ll give you another example. Me and a couple of uni friends were enjoying a spot of lunch at Nandos and we began to discuss our favorite childhood programs. Half of the cartoons I had never heard of before let alone watched so it wasn’t long before I was being referred to as ‘Matilda’ and was even asked whether I was forced to read books. I know that they were just kidding around and thankfully I’m not a sensitive person that takes things to heart, but I didn’t really approve of them making fun of ‘people who read books without pictures’. In essence though, that’s exactly what I was doing when commenting on guys with spiked hair etc.

No one is perfect and we all have a judgmental streak to us and that is perfectly natural. Its only when this streak takes control over our ‘independent way of thinking’ do we then have to worry. There may be a situation where you are compelled to mention a person’s flaws but in doing so, it would also be best to mention their good qualities in order to create a balance as no one likes to continuously be reminded of their faults. I said ‘you’ but this is something that I need to work on and its been proven to be one of my weaknesses.

I am living eating talking laughing screaming proof of just how easy it is to poison the mind with negative opinions and thoughts of others and sometimes, I don’t even realize that I’m doing it. It’s only until I hear myself say it out aloud do I think ‘Uh-Oh… I shouldn’t have said that… I shouldn’t have even thought that’.

So yeah… this article was mainly about me addressing one of my biggest flaws. My name is Alima and I am a ‘judgementalholic’. Until next time stay safe, remember me in your duas and keep smiling! Salaam!