Does my bum look big in this? - By Alima Ali

Salam All. I pray that you are in the best of health. I’m going to be open and admit that i was totally ‘bummed’ for ideas when it came to writing this article. Get it? Bummed as in – Ok moving on! Nevertheless, my good friend Marya was on hand and it was her idea to write an article based on the issue of weight.

I’m going to aim this article at both genders as i believe it is an issue that can affect both men and women (guys and girls). That is why i have decided to split this article into two parts. In the first part i shall be addressing the female gender and in the second part, i shall be addressing the male gender. Here we go!

We all come in different sizes – You have the group of girls who range from size zero to size eight and then you have the group of girls who are Pear shaped, Apple Shaped, Aloo shaped etc. I fit into this category but i can honestly hand on heart say that i am proud of being weirdly shaped. Seriously, the percentage of women who pay thousands of pounds to have Botox ‘pumped’ in their rear end in order to look like Kim Kardashians is just unbelievable. For those who don’t know who she is, then check this out:

http://blog.zap2it.com/thedishrag/legacyimages/thedishrag/images/2008/06/16/kim_kardashian_atlantic_records_jun.jpg

As you can clearly see, her rear end is ‘walking’ 2 miles behind her but do you see her complaining? I tell you what she is doing though, she is embracing her curves and she is embracing he feminine side. Curvaceous women can do all that but without the price tag.

And according to a recent scientific study that was carried by Oxford University, a big bum can help you live to a ‘ripe old age’ I read that in the MSN Health section so if i were you, i would celebrate your curvaceous behind as it is only a matter of time before everyone would be wanting one.

I think that sometimes the curvier girls end up feeling intimidated and almost threatened by the skinny stick insect girls. Let me give you a common example, one of which Marya came up with. You go to a restaurant and when it comes to order the food, your friend goes to the waiter ‘Oh i would like a plate of salad and a glass of Evian water’ I mean hello?? Are you or are you not at a restaurant? It’s not as if a typical restaurant’s menu consists of ‘A skinny chicken served with a plate of fate free fries and a glass of pure water’

You end up ordering the same as your friend and by the time you reach home, your dying of starvation and walking towards the kitchen like a zombie with your arms stretched out in front of you chanting ‘FOOOOOOD.... I NEED FOOOOOOD’

I’m telling you now, Curvy is the new skinny and statistics show that the opposite gender prefer hourglass and pear shaped women to size zero girls.... Don’t ask. I read it in the Daily Mail. So many women spend time, money and effort on trying to change themselves into someone that they’re not and most of the time they don’t do it for themselves but they instead do it to impress others. The ones who are the most truthful to you are the ones who accept you just the way you are, no matter what shape or size you may be. It’s what’s on the inside that matters and don’t you ever forget that. You are your own person and you are unique in your own way so stand up, hold your head high with one hand on your chest and the other one in the salute position and sing ‘I am who i am!!!!!!’ Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anywho, I’d like to move onto the second part of this article where i shall be addressing the male gender – Here we go! Us ladies understand that you guys take great pride in your appearance but what i don’t understand is why you feel you should look like a body builder? I’m assuming that it’s a ‘guy thing’?

Unlike women who come in two different sizes, guys come in three standard sizes. You have the tall and skinny guy, the short and beer belly guy and then the ‘Watch out Superman, You have met your match’ guy and occasionally, you have the ‘normal size’ guy. (I don’t mean to offend the male gender. I think that i had done enough of that in my previous articles)

I don’t think that it would be appropriate for me to use ‘curvaceous’ and ‘guy’ in the same sentence as the two just don’t go. However, i do believe that guys are just as conscious as women when it comes to body image – I mean, who isn’t? There is a BIG difference between being curvaceous and being overweight. It can be argued that there is nothing wrong with being overweight if you yourself are happy with the way you are. However, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) warned us about the dangers of overeating: If he has to fill his stomach, then let him leave one-third for food, one-third for drink and one-third for air.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5674).

Be honest now, do you really leave 1/3 for air? I for one don’t and I’m sure that i don’t have to bore you with scientific consequences; Increase risk of diabetes, heart disease, stroke and the list goes on. What we need to do is find a balance between being a stick insect and a round beach ball and I’m addressing both genders. We have all had an ‘omgosh it doesn’t fit anymore’ crisis. Girls, that pair of jeans that you only brought two weeks ago didn’t shrink in the wash and guys, the buttons on the new shirt that you brought for the job interview weren’t already loose.

You see where all growing. Instead of fighting it, we should be embracing it and attempting to find a balance between being underweight and overweight.

It is time for me to wrap up this article. If you have any suggestions for future articles, you can contact me via email: alima-15@hotmail.co.uk

Until next time my fellow Brothers and Sisters, take care, stay safe, remember me in your duas and keep smiling.

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

The Concept of Love - By Alima Ali

Salam all. I pray that you are in the best of health. Usually before i write an article, i have a clear image inside my head as to the ‘theme’ of the article but i with this one i just allowed my fingers to do the typing. I’m using past tense as i have already written half of this article so Marya, you don’t need to jump down my neck about using different tenses – hehe.

Before i allow you to go ahead and read this article, I’d first like to make a few points as well as share some news with you all. First of all some brief news regarding my book ‘It’s just a Fairy Tale’. Well at the moment it is on hold and that is because i am getting a very close friend of mine to proof read what i have written and I’m hopefully planning on using her feedback to improve on the chapters that i have already written. I am also suffering from what can only be described as being a writer’s worse nightmare – A writer’s block. I’m trying to figure out as to where i want to go next and the most frustrating thing is that i have got the ending all planned out as well as part of the beginning but i haven’t quite pieced together the middle. Nevertheless, i am working on it and just pray that Allah swt provides me inspiration. As well as this, i have also been looking into publishers and have contacted one or two publishing companies. I have also been looking into literacy agents and doing some research.

Now, onto my second point. One of my readers commented on the overall concept of my articles and described me as ‘wasting my time by talking about love and politics’ which is why i would like to take the opportunity of bluntly saying that if you have a problem with me talking about i quote ‘love and politics’ then don’t bother reading my articles. My articles are mainly aimed at the female gender and i usually write and discuss topics that the female population are able to relate to. Only recently have a few guys begun to read my articles and hey, that’s ok – I have no problem with that.

If you don’t like to read what i write about then you can easily suggest a topic/issue and I’ll try my best to write an article based upon what you have suggested but please don’t turn around and be downright rude.

Amongst all this, i have come up with an idea. I know your probably thinking ‘Oh no, what is she up to now?’ but i actually got the idea from a Charmed episode. Before i go ahead and tell you what the idea is, i would firstly like to say that i am 100% serious and committed and whether it will work Allahu Alim but i won’t know unless i give it a go. Ok. Brace yourself people. I am thinking of doing something called ‘Ask Alima’ – See it as being a sort of agony aunt service. This will give you the opportunity to email me with any problems that you may have or any questions that you would like answers to but are too embarrassed to ask. It would be 100% confidential and no one – I repeat no-one would know of your question/problem(s). You may just want someone to talk to or a shoulder to lean on but either way, i would only be an email away. Like they say ‘A problem shared is a problem halved’ and if you can help someone, they hey, why not. So erm what do you think? Like i said, I’m just an email away: alima-15@hotmail.co.uk I’ve got nothing to lose but you may have a lot to gain.

Phew! Now that i have gotten that out of the way, i can finally introduce my article. I hope that you enjoy reading it and i can almost guarantee that you will find yourself cringing at certain ‘cheesy parts’ and i apologize. I have just finished reading an Act from Romeo and Juliet and so I’m still in a ‘dazed’ mood. I just want to add in a quick thank you to Ayesha Bashir who kindly pointed out a common spelling mistake of mine. All i can say is that you cannot always rely on Microsoft Word Spell Check.

Here is my article: ‘The Concept of Love’ Enjoy!

Love is an expression of what one feels for another being. It is a four letter word that is overly used and the meaning that it holds is quite overwhelming. Every girl dreams of it – Whether the opposite gender shares the same ‘dream’ is a question that is yet to be answered. The whole concept of love shouldn’t be shared but rather be kept between two lovers.

For those people who deny the existence of love, please answer this: You use the word ‘love’ in your everyday language. You say that you love chocolate, that you love playing sports and maybe even shopping but then why don’t you believe in being able to love a physical being?
Some people make the common mistake of mistaking lust for love but despite their similarity, they are two different things. Lust comes from Shaytan and is merely a temptation to commit wrong whereas Love comes from Allah swt and is a great blessing.

There is a reason as to why they say love ‘love grows within a marriage’ and there is also a reason as to why sexual contact with the opposite gender is forbidden outside marriage. However, why do many of insist on believing that the whole ‘boyfriend/girlfriend’ issue is tolerated in Islam?

Tell me; what is more important to you – Your religion or your boyfriend. Wherever you go, your deen will go with you but can the same be said for your boyfriend who is supposedly meant to be your ‘soul mate’? And how can he be your ‘soul mate’ if you have committed haram to be with him? I am in no way targeting a specific individual or specific group of people so i do apologize i f i end up offending anyone – That is not my intention.

A few days ago someone asked me whether i am in love and to be honest with you, i didn’t know whether to burst out laughing or whether to say ‘Say what?!’ Apparently this person asked me this question because i frequently, within my articles, talk about romance and marriage. The reason why i so frequently talk about such issues is because speaking as an Asian, i believe that such topics have in a way been ‘shunned’ away and so if you were for example to talk about romance within a marriage, you will suddenly find the people around you muttering stuff like ‘Besharam’ because from a cultural point of view, discussing such a topic is seen as being an embarrassment.

In the end, you’re left with a typical boxing arena scene. Ahem. *loud bulky voice* ‘In the Red corner we have the Besharam crew and in the Blue corner we have the Muslim ladies – Round1, Ding Ding!’ The Outcome? A bunch of typical Asians who have still yet to get over the traumatic experience of being asked to discuss the concept of love and a bunch of confused.com Muslim ladies who still have a bunch of unanswered questions and still no-one to turn to.

I think that what many of us fail to remember is that you can have the almost perfect husband (or wife) but if the love and the passion ain’t there, then what’s the point? There are many different aspects to a marriage and one of them includes love. You see, a marriage is a bit like a jigsaw puzzle. You need to have all the pieces in the correct place in order to see the full picture but if one piece is missing, then the jigsaw i.e. marriage ain’t complete. Don’t even ask me how i come up with these analogies.

Believe it or not, i never used to believe in the whole love ‘thing’ and i used to be a major prude in secondary. Nevertheless, i have grown to believe that love does exist and that it ain’t just some fantasy that you read about in a fairytale – It is in actual fact real.

I don’t know about you, but i find it so much easier to be able to ‘express’ myself in writing rather than verbally which is why when it comes to discussing such issues, i feel that i can openly express my opinions in an article but if i were to discuss it with someone verbally, my face would be turning red, yellow, pink, green, orange and then eventually back to red.

I think that it is about time for me to wrap up this article so i wish you all the best. Stay safe, remember me in your duas and please, for the sake of the Ummah keep smiling. And also, please remember your brothers and sisters who are suffering from the floods in Pakistan in your duas. May Allah swt make things easy for them and provide them with strength and courage.

Until next time, Asalamualikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu

Doctor Vs Lawyer: The limited choices - By Alima Ali

Salam All. I pray that you are in the best of health. This is an article that i have been meaning to write for some time but unfortunately, there just aren’t enough hours in the day. Also, with Ramadan being here, i have been trying to spend as much of my time in Ibadah and so, the only time that i have had to write is after Iftar.

Before i begin this article, I’d like to warn you in advance that i have just had 4 glasses of iced cold Pepsi as well as half a packet of family size skittles so at the moment, i am on a high so i do apologize if i stop making sense half way through the article. For those who know me, i am literally obsessed with Pepsi. Give me three witnesses any day and the Nikkah would be done quicker than you can say ‘Congratulations’ Unfortunately, that is not possible.

On the last day of my humanities lesson, my teacher decided to the unforgettable – She did something that everyone else before her have failed to do and she.... took two bottles of Pepsi off me. And then, oh yes there’s more – She then put me in the corner of the classroom and tied me to a chair. Can you believe it? But don’t worry Amrana – I have forgiven you! :D Anywho, back to the article. Here we go.

From the day that you are born, your future has already been decided for you and no, I’m not talking about the whole ‘Everything happens for a reason’, I’m talking about the ‘You’re either going to be a doctor or your either going to be a lawyer and that’s final’ talk. You see, from the minute that you have taken your first breath, your ‘we know what’s best’ parents have already planned out your future from the word ‘go’ and I’m not just talking about your career oh no!!! Some parents go to extreme lengths of proving that they know best by.... arranging your marriage. See it as being your 1st Birthday present. Let’s do a bit of role play – Lights, camera and... Action:

‘Mummy and Daddy have just saved you the trouble (for when you are older) by arranging your marriage but we of course need your approval. You know cousin Imran – Well he’s only a few weeks older than you and well, we feel that he is the perfect marriage partner for you and so have arranged your marriage. We however need your approval so give us smile if you are happy with our choice or a wee cry if you’re not. Yup! That was most defiantly a smile! Aren’t we just the greatest parents?!

Many Asian parents suffer from PRAO syndrome (Pride, Dignity and Honour) and so when it comes to the topic of education, the Asian community is usually divided. You either have the group of Asians who condemn women continuing on with further education and instead prefer to have their daughter(s) be married off at the age of 16 or you either have the group of Asians who strongly believe in the values of education and believe in forcing your child to become someone that they’re not.

I think that i can relate to the whole ‘Your either going to be a doctor or your either going to be a lawyer’ dilemma and that’s probably because i come from a family where my cousins (on my dad’s side) have all gone into Pharmacy, Optometry, Dentistry or Engineering and so when i came out with i want to Inshallah be a designer, it was like *gasp* ‘Did she just say what i think she just said?’

I strongly believe that it’s a culture ‘thing’ where certain professions are seen as being of a greater importance. I mean, as soon as someone discovers that you are i.e. a doctor, their attitude towards you automatically changes and they suddenly become your best friend but other than that, you’re considered as being, harsh as it may sound a ‘nobody’.

That brings me onto my next point. Certain subjects are seen as being a ‘softer’ option than compared to others and people automatically assume that you’re only studying those subjects because you are ‘dumb’. But have we ever considered that someone may be taking those subjects because they need it for a certain career or that they may be taking that particular subject because they are genuinely interested in it? And who are we to call someone dumb? Everyone is clever in their own way. Someone might be academically clever but then you might have someone else who may have the gift of the tongue and i personally believe that there is no point in having the brains when you have got a tongue like a snake.

We judge so easily it’s unbelievable. When someone doesn’t do well in an exam, we instantly assume that it’s because they didn’t bother to revise for it. But have we ever stopped to think that maybe, just maybe it could be because they just didn’t perform to their best ability on the day or that it just wasn’t meant to be? Off we go bad mouthing them and going on about how this person got this and that person got that when we should be instead saying to that person ‘Never mind. You have still got the opportunity of re-taking and Inshallah if it’s best for you, you shall do better second time round’

I’m now going to wrap up this article but before i do, i would like to make one final point. Education isn’t everything. Don’t get me wrong, it is most defiantly an important aspect of life but religion should always come first. If you have belief in Allah swt, everything else should Inshallah follow.

Until next time stay safe, remember me in your duas and keep smiling.

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

Salam All. I pray that you are in the best of health. This is just a quick post to inform you readers that i have not forgotten about you and that an article is currectly in progess and shall Inshallah be posted soon.
x

Acknowledging the Male Gender - By Alima Ali

Salam All. I pray that you are in the best of health. First of all, Ramadan Mubarak! Like many, i still cannot get over the shock that Ramadan has arrived and I’m so excited! May Allah make this blessed month easy for us and accept all our duas. Ameen.

I have got a very exciting piece of news that i would like to share with you all. For those who haven’t already seen it on my facebook page, the book cover for ‘It’s Just a Fairy Tale’ is designed and credit must be given to Ateeb. Mashallah he has done such an amazing job and I’m forever grateful. Jazakallah Khair Ateeb. I have posted the cover on my blog so if you would like to view it, then follow this link which will direct you to the blog post.
http://a-muslimahs-blog.blogspot.com/2010/08/official-book-cover-for-its-just-fairy.html

The next few paragraphs are aimed at Brother Ammar. It is evidently clear that you won our little competition fair and square so i congratulate you on that achievement. Unfortunately, you are going to have to wait quite a while for your prize but I’m sure I’ll remember a few years down the line.

Your article ‘The Great Gender Gap’ http://www.yourtwocents.co.uk/2010/the-great-gender-gap/ was quite an eye opener and in a way, i thank you for writing the article. You criticised women and were extremely sexist and i suppose that you gave me a taste of my own medicine.
There were some parts of your article where i found myself thinking ‘Oh no he didn’t just write that’ and it made me realise that some of my somewhat ‘sexist’ articles may had the same impact on yourself and on the male gender.

For that reason, I think i owe you and the male gender an apology. But first, allow me to explain myself. A majority of my readers are female and so, we in a way seek pleasure in making fun and criticising the male gender – ‘That’s the way we roll :D’. However, i suppose that shouldn’t be used as an excuse for generalising the male population and to be honest with you, you guys ain’t half bad and i say that with great difficulty. The last thing i want is for your ego to expand to the size of your big heads! :D Ok ok, I’m sorry – There was no need for that ‘insult’. I think that like with everything, you have the majority of guys who falsely represent the minority and unfortunately, that result in people like me forming an overall opinion.

I am writing an article for your website and I shall Inshallah be reading and reviewing a few of your articles. Mashallah your website is by the looks of things doing fantastically well so credit must be given. Keep up the hard work and i pray that Allah swt grants you and the other Brothers involved within the website the upmost success. Ameen.

However! Before i continue with this article, i would like to share with you a few quotations from my previous articles and I’m sure that even you Brother Ammar will agree with them:

“They come home expecting their hot meal to be all laid out on the table and they then throw off their shoes and stink up the whole house with their big fat Shrek like feet! And do you hear them asking you about your day? No! Because they are too busy going on about how many miles they drove and then complaining about how taxes have gone up. I mean, does it look as if we care?!”

“What men fail to remember is that the woman is the one who has to carry their child for 9 months and then have to grow the labour process whilst they are standing there asking you if you are ok! I mean, does she look ok???!!!!!!”

“Yes i know that a woman should respect her husband and all but i don’t know about you, but cleaning, ironing and cooking 24/7 is not respect. I tell you what respect are. Getting a frying pan and hitting him over the head with it because if he expects you to be a chef, raise 5 kids and look good all day, then I’m sorry to say but the action of the frying pan is most defiantly needed”

Ok. Now that the formalities are out of the way, allow me to resume to this article. I have already stated that a few of my articles are quite ‘sexist’ which is why i have decided to base this article on the male gender. Here we go!

1. Guys are stronger than girls. Don’t get me wrong Sisters, not all girls avoid hard work in the fear that they might break a fingernail but when it comes to the ‘hard graft’ as they call it, men do (unfortunately) come on top.

2. SOME and i repeat some of you can be quite considerate to a member of the opposite sex. It may not be much, but opening the door for a lady or saying ‘You first’ can totally change a girls opinion from ‘What a pig’ to ‘what a gentleman’

3. SOME and again i repeat some of you actually are hygienically clean. But then i suppose who have the other extreme when a guy spends hours in the bathroom straightening their hair, making sure that there is not even one crease in their shirt and of course, making sure that their facial hair is neatly cut which supposedly ‘makes them a man’

I’m going to stop there but Brother Ammar, you cannot deny that i did make an effort in ‘Acknowledging the Male Gender’

As for my Sisters out there, fear not. We have something that men shall NEVER have and that is the blessing of being able to understand a woman’s emotional needs. Something that a guy will NEVER be able to understand.

I shall now leave you with a hadith that Sister Khaleda emailed to me about the importance of treating women ‘nicely’. Until next time, stay safe, remember me in your duas and... Keep smiling!

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.

“Narrated Abu Huraira: Allah 's Apostle said, "Treat women nicely, for a women is created from a rib, and the most curved portion of the rib is its upper portion, so, if you should try to straighten it, it will break, but if you leave it as it is, it will remain crooked. So treat women nicely." (Bukhari, 3106)”

The official book cover for 'It's Just a Fairy Tale'

Just double click on the image if you would like it to be enlarged.

Review of article 'Growing Up - Why are we so pressurised?'

Salam All. I pray that you are well. I mentioned that a few of my articles were going to be reviewed by Brother Ammar from 'TwoCents' and here is his review of my article 'Growing Up - Why are we so pressurised?' Enjoy!

Salam,

I've managed to take a look at your article entitled "Growing Up" and thought I'd give you some feedback. Before I say anything though, I just wish to remind you that I am no professional. Whether you wish to use it or not is entirely up to you. This is simply an opinion of one budding writer to another. Inshallah you will find it of some use.

I love this article. It's very sincere, heartfelt, and you deal with the facts straight-up which is good to see. Your use of rhetorical questions (Don’t you just hate it when you are asked to grow up?) and repetitive phrases (This isn’t a fantasy, this is reality. This isn’t the girl that lives down the road, this is your daughter.) is powerful and engaging to the reader, putting them on the backfoot and causing them to think about themselves.

You then go on to elaborate on a number of other topics (living in the west/peer pressure/controlling our desires/temptations) briefly but I think you missed out on not linking it to the main topic which was about being pressurised to grow up. All those topics are certainly relevant but you failed to link them to the topic, reminding the audience to stay on track. On a sidenote, I disagree with your assessment that there is no cure for Peer Pressuritis. There is and it's this. Become a non-conformist. Our faith teaches us to integrate with society but not to the extent that we loosen our principles to get there. Make friends, hang out with them, but if they try to entice you to have a drink with them, politely say no and stick to your principles. Be firm but fair. I agree this requires bravery but isn't bravery more honourable than conforming to the status quo? Anywho...

In the final paragraph, you acknowledge that you went of on a tangent (technically you didn't, my above point would clarify this). You ended it BRILLIANTLY! Good message of living life to the full, but in a halal way. Smiling is sooooo important (as muslims, we are pretty damn miserable I must admit) and be thankful for what you have. Nice way to round it off.
Hope you find this of some use, I'm intrigued that you're writing a book. Do tell me more, and if you could, please write an article for my website too. It can be about anything from fashion to media to sport to politics, as long as it is for a secular audience.

Last thing (i swear). Your latest article is LOOOONG! interesting although highly sexist. I'll give feedback another time.

Take Care

Ammar Farishta OMT

Of Boys Vs Girls, Marriage Proposals and Wedding traditions - By Alima Ali

Salam All. I pray that you are in the best of health. Many of you emailed me asking me whether i have decided to stop writing and the answer to this question is no. It’s just that i have been quite busy with work experience, writing my personal statement and also coursework and so, i have struggled to find the time to actually sit down at my laptop and write. Nevertheless, i have finally made the time to write this article and have promised myself that i am not to move until i have written and posted this article so enjoy

#
First of all, allow me to welcome a new reader, Sister Khaleda to recently got in touch with me via email after reading my article ‘Inner Beauty Or Out?’ on ‘Chill Yo Islam Yo’ and i would also like to inform you of a website called ‘YourTwo Cents’ which is a website that has been set by a group of Muslim friends and it gives writers from across the globe an opportunity showcase their articles. I emailed them a few months ago and Alhumdilillah i received a reply from them saying that they are willing to review my articles.

So Alhumdilillah life in general is great! Now, to today’s article. This article is going to be split into three different sections (refer to title). A few days ago, me and my brother and sisters decided to play a game called ‘Boys Vs Girls’ where we took turns to state the positives and negatives of being a girl and in my little brothers case (who is seven) the positives and negatives of being boy. This stirred up an idea for an article and so here i am, sharing with you some of the things that we came up.

Let me start off with stating the advantage of being a girl. Well first of all, we ‘rule’. There is no denying it and when it comes to the whole ‘Which gender is the most dominant’; we girls always come out on top. (I know I’m being sexist but hey, i was born a feminist!)

We have the option of wearing makeup which can come in great use when you are having an ‘off day’ It doesn’t only enhance our natural flaws but it also disguises those nasty little blemishes that decided to pop up the night before you are to be going to a party or wedding (or any other event where you want to look your best.

We can dress up (appropriately of course) and the ability of being able to shop around for hours comes naturally to us. We have our own personal ways of relieving our stress whether it be running a warm soapy bath or ringing up your best friend and moaning about how crap your day was before bursting into tears for no reason at all. Unlike men, we don’t see crying as an embarrassment and a sign of weakness but merely a way of releasing our selves (And there is also the other advantage which is of course turning on the waterworks when you and your partner have just had an argument – The guilt trip usually works)

We are very strong minded. Usually, we’re not afraid to speak our mind and tell our sister that the dress that she brought last week that she thought looked good is actually quite hideous.

Now to the disadvantages. Despite the positives being never ending, we like every other human have our disadvantages. One word – gossip. If we’re not gossiping about the girl who lives down the road who has just gotten engaged to someone that she met on SingleMuslim.com, then we’re chattering on about Cheryl and Cole’s marriage breakdown. Most of what we hear anyway is distorted so the truth is rarely there. And most often, you hear girls doing the well known Dot from EastEnders line: ‘You know me. I’m not one to gossip but word has it that-‘and off you go!

The main disadvantage is having to PMS every month (which don’t get me wrong, is a blessing in its own way) but when you have spent the night suffering from cramps and then wake up only to find that there is no hot chocolate left in the house, you see it as being anything but a blessing. The mood swings and the ‘all over the place’ emotions can make it even more of an uncomfortable experience. These noticeable signs automatically indicate to those around us that ‘It’s that time of the month again so if i were you, i would stay away for your own safety’.

Speaking from a Cultural POV, we don’t have the same rights and in some extreme cases, the same status as guys. We can’t stroll in at two o’clock in the morning and say in response to the question ‘where have you been?’ that we have been ‘you know, out and about innit’ (hate that word!’ Again speaking from a cultural POV, it is essential for us to know how to good a perfect three course meal as well as be able to make perfect chapattis. I’m sorry but we have Google now. One click and three seconds later and Bobs your uncle, your staring at the recipe that tells you how to make the perfect Aloo Gobi Dish and if you scroll down, your given the number of your local takeaway shop - Out with the old (Chapattis) and in with the new (Naan!!!!)

I’m not going to linger on the negative points of being a girl because all in all, we are amazingly talented in every way and we have no-one but Allah (swt) to thank. To be honest of you, I couldn’t really think of any advantages of being a guy so I’m just going to share with you the points that my little brother came up with. Apparently you are able to get away with most things which i personally disagree with. If a child has been well disciplined, then he should know where the line is and if anything, live in fear of overstepping the line.

When guys have a phone conversation, it hardly ever lasts for more than 10 minutes whereas girls have a tendency of spending 20 minutes alone saying ‘Goodbye’ Guys have more freedom and no-one hardly ever acknowledges their bad habits whereas women have to go and ‘name and shame’ someone in public.

Let me give you an example. I have got a bad habit of biting my nails but Alhumdilillah have cut down a lot (when i put it like that, it sounds almost ridiculous) Anyway, my grandma absolutely HATES me biting my nails and once i was at a wedding, and in front of EVERYONE, she goes to me in my own language ‘Are you Hungry’ and everyone began to laugh. Talk about embarrassment!

Anyway back to the positives. A guy only has to say one word to have his mum come running and that one word is ‘Mummy’ Thank God that’s not allowed in my household but in many cases, a guy is usually a ‘Mummy’s Boy’

Let me quickly state the disadvantages of being a guy. Well firstly many guys have no hygiene factors what’s so ever! And i really do see that as being a disadvantage. I mean, if a guy can’t make his bed and clean his room then seriously, what is his purpose in this world? (Metaphorically speaking of course)

Guys have no sensitive side. It’s like as if they don’t know how to cry. Can you imagine a guy going to a funeral just standing there, kicking the gravel with his feet whilst looking at his watch? What a way to pay your respects. And finally, they are hardly ever there when you need them. When you have just come in with the shopping or when you can’t open the jam jar, they never seem to be around.

To conclude the first part of the article, i believe that both genders are important in their own way. W are all unique in our own way and Alhumdilillah we are so blessed. Both genders need one another and despite frequently stereotyping guys, there are guys out there who are clean and treat girls with respect and have manners. And there are girls out there who don’t gossip as much as Dot Cotton or shop till they drop. We all have our flaws but hey, that’s what makes us human.

In the second part of this article, i am going to be discussing Marriage Proposals. This section is going to be quite short. I know someone in particular who gets VERY offended as soon as someone indicates a marriage proposal in anyway whether it be in a jokey way or whether it be indirectly. Both ways, she gets quite hyped up and yup, she is the same age as me. I rather not name her as she is probably cringing with embarrassment while reading this.

I can understand why she gets quite worked up about. I mean, not everyone wants to marry at such a young age – That most certainly ain’t an option for me and as for my friend, it’s an option that she will NEVER consider but what i have learnt is that if some-one does ask for ones hand in marriage at the age of 16, 17 or 18, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they want to get married there and then. It could be that they just want to get engaged and not have the actual wedding until the girl is of a more suitable age.

And plus, if someone did come and ask for your hand in marriage, wouldn’t you be.... honoured? I mean, it’s not every day that someone comes and asks you to marry them. Nevertheless, she is quite opinionated and at times stubborn but also an amazing person. She knows who she is. Hmmm..... I best end this section of the article here as I’m getting the feeling that if i continue on, i really would be ‘dead’ (Metaphorically speaking.... i think)

Wedding Traditions. I think i have briefly covered this issue in a previous article as i am having a ‘Déjà Vu’ moment but nevertheless, I’ll cover it again: D Weddings are quite obviously a special occasion and some people go to extreme lengths to mark this special day. You know what I’m talking about? The limousines, the DJ, etc. But the one thing that really makes me laugh and at times, is the traditions.

Let me name a few. The first and most obvious one being the whole ‘putting oil in the grooms head and putting mendhi (henna) on a tissue that the bride is holding’ I’m sorry but what is that exactly meant to signify?

A most recent (modern) tradition is dedicating songs to the bride and groom. I have seen this at several weddings and i personally find this humiliating. And the DJ doesn’t stop there. At the most recent wedding that i went to, the DJ was doing a shout out to the Brides grandma because it was her birthday. Every five seconds ‘Put your hands together for the newly weds – Everybody give a massive shout out to Granny... she has just turned 100 today!’ I really don’t think that the grandma would appreciate the DJ sharing her age with the ‘whole generation’
Another tradition is having massive plasma screens that show... wait for it... baby pictures of the bride and groom. Who comes up with these ridiculous ideas? Why would the bride and groom want to be humiliated on the one day that they are meant to remember for the rest of their lives? At this rate, they’ll be remembering the day all for the wrong reasons.

I can think of many more ridiculous and humiliating traditions but I’m going to stop here as i have just realised that i have reached the fourth page of this word document making this officially my longest article. I wanted to make it up to all you guys for not posting an article and i hope that you enjoyed reading this one.

I wish you all well and Until next time, stay safe, enjoy the summer holidays, remember me in your duas and... Keep smiling! Its charity!

Asalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuhu.